home, and if he doesn’t appear in daylight hours, I know to resign myself to her sleeping with one eye open, waiting for him.
‘Please,’ she begs. We can already hear his footsteps across the gravel drive.
‘Go on then,’ I smile.
‘Thank you,’ she says, squeezing me around my waist. ‘I promise I’ll be asleep in seconds.’
She runs down the hall and I hear excited shrills – no doubt Nathan has picked her up and is twirling her around. ‘How’s my gorgeous girl?’ I hear him say. ‘I’ve missed you. Was it a long one this time?’
I pick up my glass of wine and peer around the door frame. ‘It’s been four days, eight hours and twenty-three minutes,’ Olivia laughs gleefully. ‘But I think my chart must be wrong because it feels like a lot longer.’
He grips her tightly and ruffles her hair. I watch, smiling, waiting my turn. She’s still in his arms as he comes towards me. He looks tired, but he’s trying his best not to show it. His eyes twinkle and his mouth curls upwards as he looks at me.
‘Has it felt longer to you as well?’ he asks softly, before kissing me on the lips.
‘Much,’ I say.
‘Have you missed me?’
‘I always miss you.’
‘I wish you didn’t have to go away, Daddy,’ says Olivia. ‘Can you stay home now? For a long time?’
She curls her arms around his neck and drops her face onto his shoulder. ‘You’ve got me for a while,’ he says, tickling her under the arm. ‘Come on, let’s get you to bed.’ He starts to climb the stairs.
‘Do you want a drink?’ I ask after him.
‘A large gin would be good,’ he says before he disappears around the corner on the landing.
I’d predicted as much and have already prepared three thinly sliced rounds of cucumber. I count four ice cubes into his favourite glass and fill the tumbler halfway with Hendrick’s. He likes to add his own tonic, so I open a small bottle – the bigger ones lose their fizz, he says – and stand it to the side.
He’s changed into jeans and a T-shirt by the time he comes back downstairs.
‘Is she okay?’ I ask. ‘I knew she wouldn’t settle without seeing you.’
‘I wouldn’t have it any other way,’ he says, smiling. ‘How did it go at school? Is she okay? I didn’t want to make a big thing of it.’
I nod. ‘I think so. I’ll keep an eye on her for the next twenty-four hours or so, but I might pop in, have a chat with the head, just to make sure everything’s okay. Livvy says that Phoebe pushed her.’
He raises his eyebrows as he takes a sip of his drink. ‘You know what kids are like.’
‘Yes, but her teacher had a word with me this morning about a falling-out they had yesterday. I just want to make sure there’s not something more going on.’
‘Good idea,’ he says as he pops an olive in his mouth and pulls me towards him. I immediately stiffen as I picture David doing the same thing. ‘And how are you?’
‘I’m okay.’
‘You can’t go getting yourself in the state you were in earlier, it’s not good for you.’ He doesn’t know the half of it. ‘The children are going to hurt themselves, they’re going to have arguments with their friends, they’ll fall out and make up again. That’s all part of growing up.’
I smile tightly. ‘I know, but it’s just . . .’
‘I understand, but you’ve got to learn to relax. Nothing’s going to happen to them.’
‘You can’t promise me that,’ I say, looking at him intently.
‘Nobody can, but that’s life. I just want you to enjoy yours.’
I pull away and take a long slug of my wine. I can feel his eyes boring into me.
‘So, what were you doing at Temple Homes today?’ he says.
I busy myself with looking for a colander to strain the rice I’ve cooked. ‘A new client,’ I say, far too abruptly. ‘They need some interior solutions.’
‘Isn’t that David Phillips’s company?’ he asks casually.
‘Mmm,’ I say, bending down to find a chopping board that I don’t need.
‘Wasn’t he your first boyfriend?’ It sounds like he’s talking through a smile, but I’m too nervous to look.
‘Er, yeah,’ I say, not sure whether I feel guilty about meeting him, dressing for the occasion, or the memory of his hands on my body, even though they weren’t invited.
‘Was it him you met?’
I nod.
‘That must have been a bit weird,’ he says, half laughing. ‘How