and I will myself to stay unmoving. His hand travels up and down my leg, around the curve of my bottom and I arch my back. He knows I’m alert to him, my body disappointingly letting my mind down. I murmur, and he gently turns my face towards him. I turn back but his lips are on my neck, his mouth working its way up to mine.
‘I’m tired,’ I say sleepily, pretending he’s woken me up.
‘Okay, so just close your eyes . . .’ he starts, as his head moves down to my breast.
‘Not tonight,’ I say, rolling away from him.
‘Seriously?’ he asks, surprised by the refusal.
Him and me both. I can’t remember a time when I’ve rejected him. But if he thinks he’s going to go out, do what he wants, and have me as a subservient wife to come home to, he’s got another think coming.
8
With other things occupying my thoughts, I completely forgot that my car still hadn’t come back from its service, and it’s not until the morning that I realize I can’t drop Olivia over to Beth’s house like I normally do on a Saturday.
‘Is there any chance you can pick Olivia up from here?’ I ask when I call her.
‘Mmm, it’s going to be a bit tricky,’ she says. ‘Is Nathan there?’
‘Er, yes,’ I say absently, wondering when, and if, I’m going to be brave enough to ask him about the earring.
‘So, can you not borrow his car to drop Olivia over?’ says Beth.
‘I guess so,’ I reply, wondering why she can’t pick up from here, just this once. ‘Actually, I might see if Nathan can drop her over. I think he’s got a few things to do out and about this morning.’
There’s a muffled silence at the end of the line. ‘No, don’t worry,’ she says, suddenly. ‘I’ll come and get her, but can you have her ready to come out? I’ll text when I’m outside.’
‘Yep, sure. Is everything okay?’
‘Yeah, I’m just running really late and I’ve got a million and one things to do.’
‘Okay, well if you’re sure you don’t mind. I’ll pick them up after dance class and drop Millie back.’
‘Thanks,’ she says. ‘That would be great.’
I’m in the hallway, helping Olivia with her shoes, when the doorbell goes.
‘Oh God, that’ll be Beth,’ I say as I struggle with the buckle. ‘Quick, get your ballet shoes. They’re in the bag in the utility room.’
I swing open the door to find a beaming woman standing on the other side, peering through the foliage of a huge bouquet of flowers.
‘Are you the lucky lady?’ she asks.
I shrug my shoulders nonchalantly, though my brain is working overtime as it tries to recall today’s date and its possible significance. Have I forgotten our wedding anniversary, or the day we met? Both of which we normally celebrate.
‘I guess so,’ I say, holding out my hands.
‘Mind, they’re heavy,’ she says. ‘There’s been a fair few quid spent on these.’
I don’t need her to tell me how generous the sender has been. That much is obvious. ‘Thanks,’ I say, as I take the weight in my arms.
She’s already in her van and pulling away by the time I’ve opened the card.
To my darling Rachel
Sorry, please forgive me.
I love you.
x
I re-read the card a couple of times in confusion, but the message is too short for me to have misread.
‘Blimey, what have you done to deserve those?’ asks Sophia sleepily as she comes down the stairs, rubbing her eyes. I quickly shove the card into my jeans pocket.
I smile tightly at her, my lips pressed firmly together. ‘I have no idea.’
My phone is pinging with messages from Beth to say she is outside.
‘Go, go, go,’ I say to Olivia as she rushes past me in the hall, only to get to the front door and turn around to come back and give me a kiss.
‘See you later,’ she says. ‘Love you.’
‘Oh, you really didn’t have to,’ jests Nathan as I walk into the kitchen, the flowers weighing heavily in my arms. I watch him closely as he looks at them, waiting for some kind of recognition. ‘I don’t even think we’ve got a vase big enough. What’s the occasion anyway? Who are they from?’
I look to him, to Sophia and back again. She must see the expression I’m trying so hard to disguise as she grabs a banana from the bunch going brown in the fruit bowl and scoots out of the room.
I resist the temptation to fix myself