I have to? That means I’ll get stuck talking to another nutty mum from school.’
‘It’s Beth,’ I say. ‘She’s as far removed from a nutty mum as you can get.’ Though if he knew her life story he might beg to differ. ‘She’s the one I go out with.’
‘You see her a lot, don’t you?’
I nod. ‘We get on really well. She’s the only mum at that school who is remotely on my wavelength.’
‘Yet I still haven’t met her?’ He poses it as a question, and when I look at him, he raises his eyebrows as if he expects an answer. ‘For all I know, she could be a completely fictitious figure that you’ve invented as a cover story.’
‘What?’ I say, incredulously. ‘Do you want to come on one of our girlie nights out?’
‘Well, how do I know that’s where you’re really going? You could be doing anything. You certainly claim to see “Beth” a lot.’ He puts her name into speech marks with his fingers.
I can’t help but laugh.
‘It sounds preposterous, right?’ he says.
‘Absolutely.’
‘So imagine how I feel when you bandy ridiculous accusations around. It wouldn’t ever occur to me that you’re doing anything other than what you tell me. I trust you with all my heart and I thought you did me.’
I bow my head, almost embarrassed for the way I’ve behaved. I’m not a vulnerable teenager in a tempestuous relationship. I’m a grown woman who has never questioned Nathan’s loyalty in the nine years we’ve been together. So, why am I so quick to now?
‘I’m sorry,’ I say, going towards him and cupping his face in my hands. ‘I don’t know what I was thinking. The earring and then the flowers . . .’
He kisses my forehead. ‘Why don’t you take some time out this morning?’ he says, with a look of genuine concern on his face. ‘Have a breather – sit down and put your feet up?’
Maybe that’s exactly what I need. How could I have believed, for just a second, that Nathan would be unfaithful to me? I chastise myself for allowing my drug- and, if I’m honest, alcohol-addled brain to think the worst. I have enough neuroses to deal with – I can’t afford to let paranoia, created by the very poisons that I take to dull my nerve endings, overwhelm me. How pathetically ironic.
‘Okay, let’s go, Sophia!’ Nathan says, as he stands up and reaches for his car keys on the worktop.
‘See you later, Mum,’ Sophia calls out, just before the front door slams.
Overcome with relief, I sit at the kitchen island and contemplate the jobs I need to do with a renewed sense of purpose. There’s the washing, the food shop and all the other wonderfully banal chores that Saturday mornings bring. But first, I should let Beth know that Nathan is dropping Millie back home.
I text:
Thanks for coming to get Liv this morning. Hope you’ve caught up with everything you needed to do. Just to let you know that Nathan will be dropping Millie back after ballet x
Even as I type it, I feel a little uneasy, after the conversation I’ve just had with Nathan. Of all the days for him to finally meet Beth, he goes and implies that she might not even exist!
I receive a message back from Beth almost immediately.
No, don’t worry – I’ll grab the girls x
Me: It’s honestly not a problem x
Beth: I’ll drop Olivia home, but can’t stop x
Me: Okay, if you’re sure x
Beth: Yep x
I leave a message on Nathan’s voicemail and then call the florist to let them know of their mistake. I’d hate for poor Rachel to be none the wiser about the olive branch that was being offered by whoever had upset her. I couldn’t have that on my conscience.
‘Hello, Roses Florist, how can I help you?’ I can hear Elton John’s ‘Tiny Dancer’ playing in the background.
‘Oh, hi,’ I start. ‘I’ve had some flowers delivered today, but they’ve come to me by mistake.’
‘Oh goodness,’ the woman on the other end of the line says. ‘I’m so sorry about that.’
‘It’s no problem, I just want to make sure they get to the right person.’
‘That’s very kind of you. Most people wouldn’t bother and would keep them for themselves.’
Really?
I give her my name and address and listen as she hums along to the song. I imagine her running a finger down a list.
‘Ah yes, here it is,’ she says. ‘24 Orchard Drive. That’s the address I’ve got.’
‘That’s my address,’ I say. ‘But