know where to begin.
Chapter Forty-Three
He heard her come in. Despite being the tidiest person he knew she always kicked off her trainers and left them while she made coffee. She jumped when she saw him sat on the stool at the island in the kitchen.
‘Guy, you make me jump. What are you doing?’ she asked, her hand at her chest.
It took a few seconds to pass before she registered the suitcase.
‘Are you finally taking that to be burned somewhere?’ she asked, smiling.
He shook his head, getting down from the stool to stand in front of her. He could see the realisation was just starting to slowly sink in.
‘What is going on?’ Madeleine asked.
‘I have to go,’ Guy spoke. He took her hands in his.
‘What do you mean you have to go?’
‘It isn’t working.’
He didn’t know what to say. The truth was she had done nothing wrong. She just wasn’t the person he wanted to be with. She had never been right, they had never been right. And that was his fault rather than hers.
Her bottom lip quivered. Her perfect kohl-lined eyes were wide and moist. He had counted on anger and shouting. He hadn’t considered there would be emotion like this.
‘There’s someone else,’ Madeleine stated.
‘No.’ The reply was instinctive.
‘Liar. There must be someone else. We have the perfect life. You have a new team, this house…’
‘You can have the house. I will see to it.’
‘I don’t want the house. I would like an explanation.’
What could he say? She wouldn’t want the real explanation. She would never understand it and she wouldn’t accept it.
‘I need space. Some time. All this is new. Moving here, the team, it’s different…’
‘So this is just temporary?’ A glimmer of hope crossed her face.
‘Non.’ It was all he could manage.
A single tear traced a path down her cheek and then the defence kicked in.
‘This is because of the lingerie, isn’t it?’
‘What?’
‘You do not want me to make something for myself. You think the attention should be with you. You need to make good impression with this team. You think I will take away that focus.’
What did he say to that? Was it better to have her believe this? It was perhaps easier? Before he realised it he was nodding his head.
‘You want me to give it up?’ Madeleine asked him.
He hadn’t expected that. Was she serious? Would she give up something so important if she believed it would save their relationship? Had he made the wrong choice choosing that scenario as a get-out? That would teach him to lie.
‘No,’ he responded.
‘Then what? Tell me how to stop this, Guy. Why would you leave if there is no one else and it is not the lingerie?’
He struggled to take a breath, Keith’s face flooding his mind. He was the curse. He was the weight he wore around his neck. He was the reason everything in his life went sour. But he could never say. Remembering was one thing, speaking it out loud was impossible. The nightmares, the palpitations he still got sometimes, the memories – they tainted everything.
‘I have to go. I’m sorry.’ He picked up the suitcase and walked for the door.
‘No! No, you do not do this to me! You cannot do this to me! Guy! I won’t be left! Guy!’
The voice became a scream and he couldn’t look back. His body tensed as he opened the door, escaping, needing to feel air. He closed it behind him, hearing Madeleine’s broken sobs as their relationship evaporated. It was finished.
His cell phone ringing brought him out of his thoughts. He reached into the pocket of his trousers and took the phone out.
*
‘You haven’t told the little fella yet, I take it,’ Marilyn said.
Having muddled their way through a delicious roast lamb lunch, Mike and Dominic were back out in the garden while Emma and Marilyn cleared away.
‘I don’t know how to. He adores Chris. He’ll be so upset,’ Emma admitted.
‘Not his decision though, is it? You’ve put that child first forever; you can’t make love choices for him. It has to be right. Otherwise you’re unhappy and he’ll be unhappy and no one will be happy,’ Marilyn said. She filled the washing-up bowl with water.
‘There’s someone else.’
Why was she sharing this information with Marilyn? Marilyn had been the enemy for so long, now it was as if she was her closest confidante. Maybe it was because she wasn’t as close as Ally. Perhaps she was hoping Marilyn wouldn’t judge so readily.
‘I thought there might be,’ Marilyn