at you. What has happened?’ Colette appeared to be shocked by his appearance. His hair was still damp and he felt the heaviness of the bags under his eyes. He hadn’t shaved and there was a hint of stubble on his face. As Colette continued to stare, he put a hand to his face, feeling the roughness.
‘I… stayed out late. Too late. I didn’t sleep,’ he said. He couldn’t tell her what had happened. She had been the rock for him when he eventually joined OGC Nice. She would know soon enough and think badly of him. He couldn’t cope with her disappointment now.
‘Where is Emma?’ Colette asked. Her eyes moved through the kitchen, over to the lounge. ‘Is she still sleeping? Tired I expect from the journey here.’
‘No. She went out early. We are meeting for lunch,’ he lied. He was still lying. He shook his head.
‘Is everything OK? I thought you must leave this morning, for Paris, for the football game,’ she queried. He knew she knew there was something wrong. He looked so terrible, Emma wasn’t at the house, he hadn’t shaved, he wasn’t leaving. It was obvious. But he couldn’t confide in her. He was still too ashamed.
‘Everything is fine, Colette. You worry too much. I have to go,’ he said checking his watch.
‘Shall I make something for Emma for tonight? While you are away with the football team?’ she asked him.
‘Perhaps a casserole?’ he offered, heading for the door.
Chapter Sixty
5 September 2005
She shifted through the campsite, her head ducked low. It wasn’t as if she knew lots of the holidaymakers but she didn’t want to see anyone. Not the lady from three tents down, not the lifeguard with the tattoos, not Melody and definitely not Tasha or Guy. Just thinking his name brought tears of regret and shame to her eyes.
She sniffed, wiped her nose with her bare arm and shifted the two bags she was carrying up her shoulder. She had to be quick. It was almost half past one. Her dad had probably already been in touch with security.
‘Oh, there you are, love. Is everything alright?’ Mike appeared out of nowhere to her left and startled her.
‘Hi, Dad! Yes, I’m fine, everything’s fine,’ she answered. She couldn’t have sounded more over-the-top if she’d tried.
‘Ready for the off? Said your goodbyes?’ he asked.
‘I didn’t really have any to say. Well, apart from Sally obviously but we’re going to write,’ she responded, swallowing.
‘That boy from the clubhouse came looking for you. You know, the one you danced with once. Did you catch up with him?’ Mike queried.
That first dance. The first dance that had meant everything to her was such a long and distant memory now. So much had happened. She’d gone full circle. From grieving over her mother and having nothing but her books for solace, to finding love, getting engaged and back again. Here she was now, changed completely but still so angry with the world.
‘No, I didn’t but we ought to go. We don’t want to miss the ferry,’ Emma said, striding past her dad.
‘Let me take one of those bags,’ Mike said.
‘No. No, it’s OK.’ She let out a laugh. ‘I can manage.’
She smiled, her cheeks hurting with the force. What she really wanted to do was breakdown. But now wasn’t the time. When she was back home she would have all the time in the world to breakdown. Her dad probably would too.
‘Ready then? Au revoir la France,’ Mike said, opening the back door for her. She put her backpack on the seat and the other bag she kept with her.
‘Yes, goodbye La Baume,’ she responded. She looked over her shoulder, closed her eyes for a moment and breathed in the memories. She’d never let herself be hurt like that again. Never.
Chapter Sixty-One
Present Day
Walking through La Baume was like going back in time. When she’d arrived last night it had been dark, but now, in the light of the day, all of its familiarity was on show. The football court, the swimming pool, the path she’d walked every day on her way to meet with Guy. There were excited children, couples hand in hand, older guests relaxing in sun chairs enjoying the autumn sun. She just felt so isolated, not a part of any of their experiences. She wasn’t here to enjoy herself now, she was here to let go of the past once and for all.
He was waiting by the gate. Sat on the wall, his head drooping, his