eager to experience it again. The way he handled my body, the way he seemed to know what I needed even better than I did myself, is vivid in my mind. I remember feeling so feminine, so submissive to have his weight on top of me, to feel his thick organ deep inside me, stretching my sensitive walls.
And when he gave me his knot, I felt so complete. So whole. Like nothing else mattered. Like the union between us was perfect.
An illusion that quickly shatters as I consider the totality of what being mated to Turan means.
I grew up on a poor, majority-Voorian subject planet where just about everyone took suppressants. The ones who didn’t were mostly criminals like Turan. Nobody followed the old-school, traditional mating practices of unsuppressed Voorians. Only Vostra members did that. As a result, I was never taught to desire or accept the type of authoritative dominance that a traditional Voorian relationship entails. I was never even spanked as a kid, for fuck’s sake. Now I’m supposed to let my husband spank me?
Husband. That word makes me squirm. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I joined the Vostra out of a need for protection, not because I was looking for a mate.
The door opens, and Turan enters. “Good morning, vulta,” he says sweetly.
“Good morning,” I say back, feeling a little bit numb. I don’t know how I’m supposed to act around Turan now that we’re mated. I wish I didn’t have to worry about it.
The Vostra captain looks a little bit awkward. “I, uh, haven’t really told Geddion or Rojan about us yet,” he says sheepishly. He seems almost shy. That’s a side of him I’ve never seen before.
I raise my eyebrows. “Why not?”
He sits down next to me on the bed. “I don’t know. I guess I’m embarrassed.”
For some reason, this wounds me more than it should. He enters my room in the middle of the night, knots and marks me while I’m in heat, and now he’s embarrassed about it?
“Well, sorry I’m so embarrassing,” I snap, not looking at him. I was already feeling trapped, and now I feel rejected. I thought that at least, Turan would be proud to be with me.
“Hey,” he says, reaching out to gently stroke my hair. Despite my emotions, I can’t deny that it feels good. “You are not embarrassing. I’m embarrassing. I’m the one who had zero self-control. I’m the one who needed you so badly I couldn’t not have you.”
“Yeah, because I was such a picture of restraint last night,” I retort, feeling shitty. I don’t even know why I’m arguing with him. It just takes some of the sting away to be contrary. It’s not like I have control over anything else.
“You were in heat,” says Turan kindly. “Nobody could expect you to be the picture of restraint. I was the one who should have showed restraint.”
“So are you saying you regret it?”
He cups my chin with his hand, forcing me to look at him, and brings his face next to mine. “No,” he says, fiercely and finally. “You are my Fated Mate. I don’t know why I couldn’t detect that earlier, but I know it now. I would kill any other man who tried to have you. I’d kill anyone who tried to keep you from me.”
I feel a shiver run through me at the intensity of his gaze, the depth of the possessiveness with which he’s looking at me. He keeps cupping my chin, looking into my eyes, as though determined that I understand how serious he is. I look back at him for as long as I can stand it before casting my eyes down, unable to bear it.
Turan’s thumb brushes my lips, parting them slightly. I take his thumb into my mouth, sucking on it sensuously, acting on instinct. He smiles, and I stop, suddenly self-conscious.
“Such a perfect little vulta for me,” he whispers, stroking my cheek.
I’m nervous as I step out onto the bridge with Turan. The mark on my neck is tingling, and I’m sure that it’s extremely noticeable to Geddion and Rojan.
They both have knowing looks on their faces as they see me. They must have heard us last night, I realize. Whether or not Turan has said anything to them is immaterial. They already heard us, and they can see my mark.
“Kora is my mate now,” Turan announces gruffly, putting an arm around me. I feel myself blushing as both men turn to look at us.
“Congrats,”