outline blurs. I feel her move, and I flinch when her hands reach around me, pulling me into her arms. My chest and throat burn as heavy sobs rake through my body at her touch. I shove my face into her neck, gripping her back just as tightly.
“I-I never got t-to say g-goodbye.”
“I’m sorry,” she croaks out, her shoulders shaking with tears. “So fucking sorry, Evie.”
“Are you really pregnant?” I ask her, feeling like a shitty friend.
She pulls back, wiping under my eyes. “Yes, and I can’t do this without you. I don’t want to be without you. You’re my best friend and I love you so much.”
I sniffle, taking a lungful of air. “I’m sorry.”
“I’ve not told anyone about the pregnancy, and neither can you. I’d like to keep it quiet.”
“You’ll be a great mum.”
“And you’ll be a great aunt, so please, get down from here.”
I give the rocks one last look, my stomach clenching with unease. I grip the other side of the ledge, swinging my legs over. Once my feet hit the ground, my stomach rolls and I rush over to the end of the bridge. I bend at the waist and lose all the food I consumed today.
Rebecca rubs my back. “Get it out. It’s going to be okay now, Evie. I promise.”
*** *** ***
My fifth glass of vodka goes down easier than the first. I don’t want to be here, not when this is Wyatt’s local. However, it was the closest bar and Rebecca was determined to get me drunk.
She succeeded. My head rolls to the side as she pushes another in front of me.
Just thinking about Wyatt has a fresh wave of tears filling my eyes. I thought I had dried out, but it seems I was wrong.
“He wasn’t just mad, he looked broken,” I slur. “I really hurt him.”
“Is she okay?” a new voice asks, but I don’t look up from my drink, wanting to forget.
“Who are you?”
“Hayden Carter.”
“Are you here to give her shit, because if you are, you can leave. She’s been through enough for one day.”
“I’ll give you a pass for speaking to me like shit, but to answer your question, no, I’m not here to give her shit. I’m waiting for my cousin to arrive.”
Through blurry vision, I watch her force a small smile. “Sorry, it’s been a long day.”
“Does this have anything to do with why my brother is driving Paisley around looking for her?”
“Paisley hates me too,” I pipe in, swallowing past the lump in my throat. “She slapped me.”
Hayden chuckles, but it dies off when she sees I’m serious. “Seriously? What the fuck? What happened?”
“You don’t know?” Rebecca asks, a bite to her tone.
“Don’t be mean. I’m the one in the wrong,” I argue, before bursting into tears. “I hurt the man I love for a man who killed my mum anyway.”
Rebecca looks crushed at my admission. “Babe.”
“Why did you bring me here? I shouldn’t be here.”
“Fucking hell,” Hayden whispers, taking a seat beside me, typing away on her phone.
“You’re breaking my heart,” Rebecca croaks out.
“How much has she had?”
“Seven,” Rebecca announces. “I thought it would make it better but all it’s done is make it worse.”
“Five,” I blurt out. “I’ve had five. Or was it three?”
“No, babe, it’s your seventh. I think it might be time for us to go home.”
“I don’t have a home,” I snap. “He took that away from me too.”
“You’ve got a home with me,” she argues, crestfallen.
“I don’t have anything. No clothes, no pictures, no boyfriend, no mum, no family.”
“What the hell happened?” Hayden asks once more, but I tune them out when Rebecca begins to fill her in.
I don’t need to hear what had happened. I lived it.
Gone.
She is gone, and I can’t bring her back. The card Lucy gave me at the care home is burning a hole in my pocket. Rebecca offered to call them after she got a friend to come and get my car and take it back to hers. While we waited in her car, I filled her in on what happened, bawling until there were no tears left to cry. Until now. When I brought up not knowing if he had gone ahead with arrangements, she offered to call, but I couldn’t. I’m too scared to find out if he has. Then I’ll never get to say goodbye, and I want to hold on to the hope that I can. It’s all I have left in me.
Feeling eyes on me, I sluggishly lift