face into my hands, my elbows resting on the desk. Right now, I feel like the world is weighing me down. Whenever I see a way out of the mess I’m in, I’m pulled back in. Always. But this is bigger than me, and right now everything depends on me keeping this job. If I lose it, I dread to think what will happen. I have no one to help pick me up. Like always, I can only rely on myself. Even my best friend, Rebecca, can’t help me with this.
I really enjoy working here too. I was wary at first—rumours weren’t kind to the Hayes family. Yes, they are wild and outspoken, and yes, they do fight and argue a lot, but it’s never done in hatred or in true anger. They are just comfortable enough amongst one another to express themselves.
What I love most is their deep sense of family and loyalty. They dote on their sister, and Jaxon’s wife. And I’ve even seen them with their mother. They not only love her but respect her. They fall in line and listen whenever she’s about.
I’ve never had that.
I never got the chance.
It was always just me and my mum, and I was okay with that. But seeing the way they are with each other makes me feel like I missed out on so much.
My phone begins to ring again, and I groan into my hands. He’s persistent, I’ll give him that.
“Are you not going to answer that?” Paisley asks, and I lift my head, a high-pitched squeal escaping my lips.
I didn’t hear her come in, or Landon, who is leaning against the doorframe, looking broody as always.
She reaches for my phone and turns it over on the table. The blood drains from my face and I lean over the desk, snatching it from her grasp.
“That’s okay. They’ll call back,” I rush out, clicking it to silent before throwing it in my drawer. Embarrassment floods my cheeks and I look away from Paisley’s curious and hurt gaze.
When I brave a glance in her direction, I see she’s sharing a look with Landon, who squeezes her hand before relaxing it again. Shame fills me when I realise I was too rough with her.
“Um, okay,” she murmurs, trying to force a smile.
“I’m sorry. I don’t like taking personal calls during work hours.”
She waves me off. “My brothers won’t care. They’re just happy they don’t have to do much desk duty.”
I force out a smile. “I’ll run it by them first. It’s no one important anyway.”
“Are you ready?”
“Ready?” I ask, scrunching my nose up.
Laughing, she steps towards me, grabbing my coat off the back of my chair. “For lunch, silly. Hayden, Charlotte and Hope are on the way.”
I force another smile, nodding. I completely forgot about the lunch I promised her this morning. I desperately want to get to know her—she seems nice, and not like the girls I grew up with. I have one friend, Rebecca, in my life, and she’s forever telling me I need to let people in.
Paisley is easily someone I could become friends with. She’s funny and kind. But as always, life knows when to throw shit at me. I can’t get close to the girl, even if she does make it difficult to keep her at a distance. I have to find a balance because there is no way I can risk her or her brothers getting close. It isn’t on the cards. They’d hate the real me.
The thought brings a wave of sadness through me. I want them to like the real me, not who everyone believes I am.
My thoughts drift to Wyatt, and my chest tightens. Would he think the worst, or would he keep bringing me sweets each morning and fill up the glass bowl I bought at a charity shop in town?
I won’t admit this to him, but I secretly love that he brings me cups of coffee or tea without asking if I want one first. It’s like he just knows. Or when he thinks I’m not paying attention, and I feel his gaze on me. Every time it feels like he’s unknowingly chipping away at the walls I’ve built around my heart.
Wyatt is incredibly thoughtful, and kind, but it doesn’t make up for the fact that he sleeps around a lot. His brothers aren’t shy around me, and they talk freely about Wyatt’s encounters, and their own. My stomach sinks each time Wyatt’s name is brought up.
I smile once again