comes looking for me."
"Wait." Kova stepped in front of me and placed a hand on my hip.
It took everything in me to utter another word when he gently squeezed my hip, his fingers pressing into me with tenderness.
I sighed in defeat. "Move, Kova. The ball is going to drop soon. We both need to leave."
"Stay… please." His fingers squeezed again, a silent plea.
I blinked. "Tell me something, anything, I don't already know, and I'll stay."
Kova glanced away, squinting his eyes. His chest rose as he inhaled, and he slowly released a breath. Flexing his jaw, Kova was unmistakably at odds with himself, whether he wanted to give me what I asked for or not. Always tangled with right and wrong and what move to make next. I didn't feel bad though. I'd given him so much of myself already when he gave me nothing in return.
"Tell me something, please," I whispered, pleading with him to just let me in.
A breeze of salty ocean air blew past us and I shivered. Kova removed his jacket and draped it over my shoulders. I was engulfed in his cologne and drew the scent deep into my lungs. I sighed, a small smile spreading across my face. I loved the masculine scent that followed him everywhere. Not even the gym chalk could mask it.
Pulling the lapels together, Kova's hands lingered over my chest before he dropped them to his sides. He tried to close the distance, but I placed a hand on his chest.
"I just… I just don't know if it's a good idea to be so…you know." I swallowed. God. I could hardly speak the words.
"If you want me to give something to you, I will, but I need to do it my way." I regarded him with a jaded look. "Pozhaluysta…"
It was all I needed. I wasn't sure what Kova spoke in his natural tongue, but it was enough to win me over. Something told me to take what I could get from this elusive man.
Fifteen
Kova placed his hands on my hips and slid them around to the small of my back.
His fingers were a gentle touch that contradicted his brusque personality. He pulled me close, pressing our chests together and held me to him. The beating of my heart sped up and butterflies swirled in my belly while I waited, trying desperately to steady my breathing.
Giving in, I wrapped my arms around his back the same way he held me, letting myself melt into his warm embrace with a soft sigh I hoped he hadn't heard. I waited patiently for him to speak. I couldn't look at him though, I didn't trust myself being this close, so I rested my cheek on his chest. Kova turned to the side and shifted me with him with a natural finesse, as if he'd done it so many times. Dropping his hips back against the railing, he stretched one leg out and kept the other bent, giving me just enough space to nestle between his hips. Lacing his fingers behind me, he rested them just above my butt.
It shouldn’t have been right how naturally comfortable we were together.
"You are not going to like what I have to say," he murmured.
My stomach tightened. "I can handle it," I whispered.
"You know, that is something I admire immensely about you. You are always so ready to take on anything thrown your way without fear. It is an admirable trait."
I smiled. "I hope that wasn’t the piece you were willing to share."
He huffed out a laugh. "No, it was not."
I stared into the sky, listening to the crowd around the corner and the fireworks booming prematurely in the distance. We were hidden, obscured, and in our own world.
"I am so stressed out," he started. "And I have no outlet, so everything is building inside me."
"What do you mean no outlet?"
"I have no one to talk to about it."
I frowned. "Have you been writing? I thought that helped."
He shook his head. "The more I write, the more I convince myself of the truth. I feel like it is backfiring on me. My thoughts go deeper and darker and I find myself more lost than ever."
"The truth about what?" I prepared myself for his answer.
He waited a long moment before he responded.
"About Katja. She is standoffish. She does not speak to me like she used to. I find her up at all hours of the night on her phone or lying there awake in silence. She has pulled away from