my eyes, but Skylar shook his head and brushed his hand over them, encouraging me to close them again. “No looking. Just talking. So he’s older than you?”
“Yeah. Two years. He was working through his master’s in archaeology. I was just finishing up my bachelor’s degree. We ended up attending the same seminar. It was a weekend event. During a brief morning break on the first day, I was grabbing a drink in the lobby. They had coffee and juice and mini muffins and whatnot all set up on a row of tables. Anyhow, I turned around too fast, and we ran into each other. I dumped my coffee all down the front of his shirt. We spent the rest of the break in the restrooms, trying to clean him up and dry his shirt under the hand dryer.”
I shook my head. It was so long ago it felt like a different life. Morgan was not the same man anymore. No, that was wrong. Morgan had always been Morgan. The difference was, he hadn’t been triggered yet. The extent of his issues hadn’t been realized.
“What was he like? In the beginning.”
I knew what Skylar was doing. Treading carefully, he was working out as much information about Morgan as he could get. The whole time, he held my hands. It was comforting. He was anchoring me to the present, keeping me grounded. Did he know how easily I could slip away?
“Morgan was charming. Confident. Bold.” I chuckled, but the sting in my heart made it sound sad. “He asked me out on the last day of the seminar. It was so out of the blue that I laughed at him until I realized he was serious. My relationship history at that point had been pretty grim, but Morgan treated me like a prince. I’d never had anyone rip the rug right out from under my feet like that. The guys I’d dated before were real assholes, but Morgan. He… consumed me. He was all my fantasies wrapped up in the perfect package.”
I thought about those early years, about all the time we’d spent together. Frowning, I opened my eyes and stared at Skylar’s and my joined hands. “I was an idiot. I didn’t see what was right in front of me. Morgan was always possessive. I don’t know how else to describe it. At first, I didn’t see anything wrong with it. It felt good to be wanted and loved so much. To be the center of his world.”
“What do you mean by possessive?”
“Looking back, I see now that Morgan wanted to own me. All of me. He didn’t like sharing me with anyone. When we went out with friends, he clung to my side and wouldn’t let me out of his sight. If we went clubbing, he hated it when I danced with other men. Even though he wasn’t fond of dancing, he would dance with me simply so no one else could touch me.”
“It sounds like he tried to dominate you. Control you.”
I shrugged. “In retrospect, I can see it that way. At the time, it felt different.”
“Did that calm down after a while?”
“No. It got worse. I really didn’t notice it. The only way I can explain it is that I was blinded by love. Morgan showered me with his love. He doted on me. Spoiled me. Idolized everything I said and did. I was so head over heels for him, Morgan could do no wrong. My therapist calls his behavior obsessive. I recognize it now, but…” I shook my head. “He got jealous easily. I just didn’t know he would…” My mind drifted to the folder I’d tucked away. The faces of eleven men. “I didn’t know how deeply rooted his jealousy was. I didn’t know.” My voice quivered.
“The men he killed.”
The food in my belly turned to ash. Nausea stirred my gut. I was hot and cold, and my skin prickled. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”
I tried to pull away, needing to run, escape, be anywhere but stuck in this horrible waking nightmare of what had happened because of me.
But Skylar wouldn’t let me get away. He stepped in front of me, pushing me back against the counter. His hands were warm when he took my face between them. I whimpered when he kissed me, tears surfacing. I did everything in my power to control my runaway emotions.
There was no way Skylar couldn’t feel me coming undone. He didn’t say anything.
In some faraway