And then we head home—all three of us, which makes telling Luke about the baby a little more difficult.
I guess I’ll just put it off a little longer.
CHAPTER 12
“What are these granola bars Luke mentioned to Coach Thompson?” I ask Debbie on Saturday morning.
She chuckles. “I make these homemade granola bars and the boys all go crazy for them. Luke brings them in every Thursday since that’s their hardest day of practice.”
“Can you make some for Luke?” I ask. “I think they’d really cheer him up. And I want to try them too.”
Debbie laughs. “Of course, dear.” She lowers her voice and nods toward the family room, where Luke is watching—surprise, surprise—football again. He’s far enough away and engrossed enough in the game that he can’t hear us. “How’s he doing?”
I lift a shoulder. “Good days and bad. More bad. Mostly I just try to be helpful and kind of stay out of his way.”
“Is he being nice to you?”
I laugh at the question, but it isn’t long before I get sort of serious. “No, not really.”
“That’s how he was the last time he was hurt, too. He was extra grumpy with Savannah, though he was always sort of grumpy with her.”
“So what do I do?” I ask.
“You put him in his place. I’ve known Luke a lot of years, and I know he loves you. You can’t let him walk all over you. That’s not the strong woman he fell in love with, is it?”
I shake my head sadly. “No, it isn’t.”
“He’ll never tell you when he needs anything. He’s too hard-headed. So you just have to do your best to read his mind.” She winks at me, and I giggle.
“There’s just so much on his plate that I don’t blame him for being a little grumpy.”
She nods. “But no matter how much is on his plate, that doesn’t give him a right to take it out on you.”
“True,” I concede, and I have the sudden urge to confess my little secret to her. “Can I tell you something that stays between us?” I ask, lowering my voice.
“Of course you can.”
I glance at Luke. He’s still watching the game. I glance back at Debbie.
“Oh,” she says, her mouth dropping open. She covers it. “You’re not...” She nods toward my belly with wide eyes.
I nod, and I can’t believe the amount of relief that flits through me at finally unloading this very big secret on someone. I’ll never know why it’s Debbie I choose, but she’s a pseudo-mother figure to Luke, so that makes her this baby’s pseudo-grandmother.
“Oh my goodness!” she exclaims quietly so as not to draw Luke’s attention. She grabs me into a hug, and then she drags me into the laundry room so we can talk without worrying about him overhearing. The smell of detergent rushes to my nose, and my stomach feels suddenly queasy. “Congratulations! How are you feeling?”
I shrug. “Pretty good. No real symptoms like you hear about.”
“And you haven’t told him?” she asks.
I shake my head. “Every time I try, another bomb is dropped. I just found out a few days ago myself. I haven’t figured out how to tell him.”
“Oh, honey,” she says. “You need to tell him. This could be exactly what pulls him out of this horrible funk. It’ll give him purpose.”
I nod as tears pinch behind my eyes. “He was just so relieved that Michelle’s baby wasn’t his...”
She gives me a stern look. “He was relieved he wasn’t going to be tied to that horrible woman for the rest of his life. But it had to come as a blow that he thought he was having a child and then that was taken away from him.”
“He just said he was glad, and that’s made it even harder to figure out how to tell him.” I set a hand on my lower stomach to try to ease the queasiness. I need to get out of this room. I always loved the smell of detergent, but suddenly it’s putrid.
“Has he talked to you about his feelings at all?” she asks. “Not about Michelle, but about the loss?”
I shake my head.
“Then you don’t really know how he’s feeling. I suspect he’s numbing more than just his knee with those painkillers.”
“But this baby doesn’t make up for the loss of that one.”
“No,” she says, shaking her head, “it doesn’t. You’re right. But it gives him something new. It gives him a future to look forward to with the woman he loves.”
“I’ll talk to him,”