as they welcomed Adam. After Grandma Lou surveyed Adam up and down, she patted me on the arm. “Blood will out. She ran off with some strange boy just like her momma.”
I glanced around for Cole, then remembered that his Eloise was Methodist and he attended her church most Sundays now.
As I fielded questions about Addie’s absence that afternoon, I realized how much I heard that was not questions but statements. Others were taking up the story, giving me the missing pieces. Cole had heard Addie’s name before she had one. Momma had come to her own conclusions about why Addie looked like me. Joe concluded that Adam must have, like him, been too young to serve during the war. And now it seemed that everyone would treat Addie’s flight as a continuation of her “mother’s” story. Addie had been right: we needed our stories. All of them had seen what they expected to see or hear. They had found what their stories told them would be there.
Except for me. What I had found was completely unexpected.
Later that day, Adam and I stopped by Freddie and Marge’s. I introduced him. The circle of musicians welcomed him with little nods. Freddie shook Adam’s hand and offered him a seat. Marge nudged me after giving Adam a complete, swift look-over. I laughed and shook my head at her suggestion. But she didn’t believe me. She winked at me and nodded. The vague unhappiness of her childless marriage seemed to inspire in her a radiant enthusiasm for others’ romances.
Adam walked me home afterward. We were quiet in the darkness. He kissed me chastely on the forehead and left me at the back door.
Momma and Daddy came to help with the farm work the next Saturday and brought Rita. As they were saying their good-byes, Adam waved from the barn and continued brushing down Darling. Joe was coming by later, and Adam would get a ride back to town with him. Daddy and Rita waited in the truck, but Momma stopped on her way out the door.
“See you later.” She waved to Adam, and then turned to me. “I’m proud of you, Evelyn. You’ve done good here.” She nodded her head toward the barn and fields and gave me a slight tilt of her head, her eyebrows raised, her don’t-screw-up gaze.
“Momma, it’s all right. He’s just going to help me some.” I pretended to wipe something from my skirt. She squeezed my arm till I looked up and held her gaze. She could smell intention on her children. She did not need the sin itself to start sniffing around like an old hound dog.
“I’m all right, Momma. I’ll be careful.” I saw it on her face, as she registered that there was need for care. Daddy honked the horn.
“Do be careful,” she whispered and let me go.
Adam waved again as they drove off, and then locked eyes with me across the backyard. My veiled admission to Momma was still fresh. Something in me gave, shifting into a new place. Before the truck disappeared down Clear Lake Road, Adam leapt onto the back steps as if I had called him.
I motioned for him to follow and led him down the hall. He hesitated, and then stepped into the bedroom he had slept in the first night.
“Take your clothes off,” I told him.
He obliged. Everything came off, even his socks. I looked at him, taking in every part—toes, ankles, knees, the thighs I had last seen under Addie, the pale planes of his hip joint, genitals, belly, breastbone, hands, arms, neck, ears, eyelids, lips, teeth, cheekbones. I had never studied a man that way before. Silently, he let me. This was Addie, whom I had loved. I turned him around and looked at his backside. I traced his spine with my fingertip and was done. “Thank you.”
“You are welcome.” He turned to face me again, not acknowledging or attempting to hide his erection. I glanced away. He moved as if to reach for me. I took his hand but placed it back down at his side.
“Will it be like this from now on?” he asked.
“I don’t know.” Tension leaked out of me. Suddenly, I felt exhausted. He took my hand and pressed it to his chest. I braced myself against the start-up of that gentle vibration, but there was only his heartbeat, warm bone, and muscle under my palm.
“You wanted a husband, a family?” he asked.
I nodded, my chest tight.
“Would you rather have Addie back?” he