more. Had he been hallucinating, hearing what he wanted to hear? Suddenly, the effect of the LSD seemed to return. For a moment, I saw Adam not as a man but as a raw bundle of intentions that could shimmer off into any direction at any moment.
“Momma? You okay?” Rosie and Gracie stood in the doorway, their faces and pajamas rumpled.
I nodded and pointed at the chairs across the table from me.
“Sit.” Adam glared sternly at them. “We need to talk.”
They wilted under his gaze. Gracie hunched at the table. Rosie poked at some crumbs left on a saucer.
Adam paced behind them, shaking his head. “Leaving that Kool-Aid in the fridge was a stupid, stupid thing to do. Do you know what you put your mother through? Were we the only ones who didn’t know what was in the Kool-Aid?” With each pass back and forth behind them, Adam seemed larger. For a few crazed seconds, I thought he might actually be growing.
Gracie twisted around in her chair to look up at Adam, a bare apology on her face. “It was a mistake, Daddy. Everybody else knew! A friend brought all the Kool-Aid. Someone was supposed to bring the last pitchers out to the pasture.”
Gracie turned to me. “I’m so sorry, Momma. We didn’t mean to . . .”
“Your face, Momma.” Rosie held her hands up to her face and then swept them back from her cheekbones. “You didn’t look like yourself.” She reached across the table for my hand. “Are you okay, now?”
Adam paused for my reply.
“I’ll be okay. But it was really rough at one point.”
Adam leaned down between the two of them. “If you ever think your mother is in trouble, come get me.” His voice was low and dark. “After we realized there was something in the Kool-Aid, I left your mother alone while I went out to the fire to find out what we’d drunk. Then I stayed out there trying to track down the two of you.”
Both their heads jerked up.
“You had some, too?” Rosie said.
“Yes, we both had a couple glasses. Not much happened to me, but it was very different for your mother.”
They exchanged quick glances then stared up at Adam.
“Your mother and I will discuss this and decide what to do.” He began to pace again. The only sound in the room was the rhythm of his footsteps.
Speechless, I just shook my head. I was still stuck at his claim that “not much” had happened to him.
For a long, withering moment, the girls sat, frozen, staring at the table.
He came to a stop and exhaled loudly. “I have one more question.” His voice was brighter, his face softer.
The girls’ posture relaxed a fraction.
He tapped them each high on their breastbones. “Now tell me which of you did I hear last night at the fire?” He turned an expectant, almost tender smile from one to the other. I understood how badly he wanted them to be like him.
They glanced quickly at each other.
Rosie swallowed. “What are you talking about? We weren’t out there at the fire when you and Momma . . . I was on the front porch. That’s where I was when I heard Momma laughing and Jerrod came running out.”
Adam turned a confident face to Gracie and touched her back. She looked over her shoulder, her eyes darting up toward him. Her gaze held his for a second, then she returned her attention to the table, scanning its surface. “I wasn’t at the fire then, either.”
“She was with me,” Rosie said.
Adam stood motionless, squinting at the top of Gracie’s head. He rubbed his chest. A quick smile crossed his lips and I thought he might laugh as he usually did when he caught one of them in a lie. Instead, his eyes narrowed. He slapped his hand on the table. “The Kool-Aid was a stupid thing to do. You didn’t tell us what was in it. Now one of you is not telling us where you were and what you did last night. I was not hallucinating. One of you is lying!”
Gracie opened her mouth. Before she could speak, Rosie touched her arm. She flushed and pressed her lips together. I tried to recall when I’d seen that odd spasm of confusion and guilt that crossed her face.
“Go!” I waved them away. “Now. Go get dressed.”
I could almost smell their relief as they scrambled out of the chairs and down the hall.
Adam came around the table and knelt beside