Why did he have to come tonight, and why couldn’t he have handled it better?
Fuck. I’m so full of regrets right now, I can hardly see straight.
I hate that I need this crappy job, and my mind is weighing heavily on Cameron Stanton. I know I did the right thing by not leaving with him, but it doesn’t make me feel any better about it. The cold, hard truth is… he was there. He was there when he said he had been thinking about me all week, and after we made out yesterday. I know that, even if we did have any chance of working out, a long-term future with him is not on the cards. My first instinct was right. Once a player, always a player. He never lost his fucking phone in Vegas all those years ago and he probably slept with someone he picked up in the casino the very next night. Who was I kidding? I frown as I see the lights in our house are all on. What’s happening? Why is everything lit up? I quickly climb out of the car and head to the front door, but it opens before I put my key in. It’s Jenna. She’s been crying.
My face falls. “What’s wrong?”
She screws up her face. “Mom’s had a heart attack.”
“What? Oh, Jenna.”
She nods, unable to speak through her tears. I wrap her in my arms and hold her as she sobs. “Where is she?” I ask.
“At the hospital.”
“You need to go to her.”
She nods as she wipes her nose with a tissue. “Is that alright?”
“Of course it’s alright.”
“What will you do with Owie?” she whispers.
“It doesn’t matter. I’ll work something out.” I lead her into the kitchen, put the kettle on, and sit her at the table.
“What if she dies?” Jenna whispers.
I take her hand in mine and watch her for a minute. “Everything is going to be okay. Heart attacks aren’t always as bad as they sound.”
She puts her head into her hands and really starts to cry. What can I do to help her? I grab my laptop and go online in search of an airline ticket for her to fly home to Iowa. “There’s one here for today at ten in the morning. Will that be okay? That’s in about five hours from now.”
She shrugs.
“Let me check the other airlines to see if I can get one cheaper.” I continue to search, but eventually end up going back to the first flight I found.
Jenna finally falls into an exhausted sleep on the sofa, and I sit quietly at the kitchen table as I try to work out what to do with the disaster that is my life.
I’ve lost Cameron, even though I never had him to begin with.
I now have no babysitter, which means I can’t work, which means I may now lose my internship.
The house is silent and dark, just like my options. I know I got myself into this life, but hell, it doesn’t make it any easier to cope with. It’s 6am and I plan to wait up to call work in an hour to tell them I won’t be in. I guess the worst thing of all is that it looks to Cameron that I am not going into work because of my fight with him last night. This timing sucks so badly.
What the hell am I going to say?
Oh, I can’t come in because I have no babysitter for a child that doesn’t exist.
Or how about I can’t come in because I gave my boss a lap dance last night when I told him I was seeing my mother after we dry humped on his washing machine.
Or maybe I made my boss blow in his pants last night and I refuse to pay for the dry-cleaning bill.
I put my head into my hands. This is a fucking disaster.
“Hey.” Jenna smiles from the door.
I smile back. “There she is.” I stand and wrap her in my arms. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m okay. Thank you for last night.”
“We should go and get you packed.”
She nods. “Did you ring your mom?”
I shake my head. “No.”
“Why not?”
I shrug. “It’s all a bit too hard. I’ll have a couple of days off and then work something out from there.”
She watches me for a moment. “Why don’t you just ring your mom and offer to fly her out here for a week or two. I’m sure I will be back by then.”
I exhale slowly. I want to tell Jenna