a stop in the wide street, and my eyes flicker over to the back seat. “This is it, baby.” I smile.
Owen looks out of the window towards our new house and I feel my nerves flutter deep in my stomach.
It looks okay.
The house is two-story with faded yellow weather-boards. It has a large veranda that wraps around the house. Climbing roses scale the posts, and a cobblestone path leads up to the front steps. It looks welcoming. I glance back and forth up the wide street and the neat manicured lawns of the well-kept surrounding houses.
“It looks so nice, doesn’t it?” I smile at him through the rear view mirror.
He nods as he holds his blanket tightly between his little fingers. His angel face is staring out the window in awe.
This will be the new start we need.
The last few years have been hard—harder than hard for me. My big dreams are just a distant memory now.
I met a guy, got engaged, and was happy for a while, until our relationship broke down. All while putting myself through med school.
I had big dreams of being a hotshot surgeon until I fell pregnant. It wasn’t planned and I don’t know how it happened, but it did and I didn’t find out until I was showing. I’d had the contraceptive injection and it should have worked for another twelve months. I never even considered that I would be in the two percent of the female population who it didn’t work on. I didn’t get a period, so I didn’t miss it when it didn’t come.
It was shocking, it was devastating, but now, looking at the little boy with the perfect face in the back seat who has taught me how to adult, I count it as the biggest blessing of my life.
He was always meant to come—always meant to be my son.
The timing was just off, that’s all.
I’m over it now, over the whole stigma of being a single mom.
The disappointment of shattered dreams.
I’m over the urge to go out and have fun with people my own age. I do grieve the loss of opportunity to fall in love for me. I wanted to marry for passion and true love.
I’m resigned that this is my life and that I made this bed I’m lying in. If I can just scrape through my final year of residency experience at the hospital, Owen and I can move to a quaint little country town where I can open a medical practice, work as a general practitioner, and make enough to pay the bills. Hopefully I can save a deposit and Owen and I can have our own home. I smile at the endless opportunities we have.
Who knows? Maybe in ten years when Owie gets a little older I will meet a nice divorced man with grown children and fall in love. I guess the saddest realisation is that Owen doesn’t have a father figure to grow up with. My ex fiancé didn’t want to keep up the visits, and now wonders why he’s an ex.
We grew apart. The final straw came when I realised I would pretend to do assignments every night, just so I didn’t have to go to bed with him. I didn’t even want him touching me. How could I have ever contemplated marrying him for life?
I tried to hold on for Owen’s sake, but when it became clear to me that he didn’t really care if he saw Owen or not, I decided to walk away.
Owen deserves better. I deserve better.
So, here we are in Los Angeles. Our new hometown. Jenna flies in tonight and is staying with me for six months to get me settled so I can find some part time work and childcare. Jenna is my angel. I couldn’t have done any of this without her. I park the car and smile broadly as I open the back door.
“Out we get Owie.”
He smiles up at me and grabs his little comfort blanket and book from the seat, climbing awkwardly out of the car. I bend down and straighten his shirt and pants. “Are you ready to see our new house?” I whisper with excitement.
He smiles as he looks at the house in awe, and we walk hand-in-hand up the path toward the house.
I shuffle through my bag to find the keys that we have just picked up from the agent. I feel my nerves flutter. This house feels too extravagant for us, but I have a plan as