back. “You’ll leave me again.”
“I won’t.”
“I wasn’t what you wanted and you just… Faded, Julian. You…” Something big hit me and I didn’t even try to stop the tears. “Maybe you weren’t what I wanted.”
“What?” he gasped.
I shrugged. “You warned me from the start that you get lost in your head and forget the world, the people in it. I keep saying you didn’t like what you saw in me and faded away, but maybe it’s me who can’t handle who you are. I didn’t—couldn’t fight to keep you with me.”
“No, you did. You sent me that gift to smack me. You fought and I was—I wanted—that’s not who I am. I can change that.”
“I don’t want to be a woman who changes the men she’s with. I’m not right—”
“Stop, please,” he begged. “That’s not what this is. I promise, it’s not. You’re not trying to change me. This is a fault of mine and I’ve known this. That wasn’t what happened this time. We all change from being single people who then adapt to being a couple. That’s what I need to do better, but that’s not why I hurt you so much.”
“No, that did,” I confessed. “That was the start of it. That you kept ignoring things when you used to be attentive and notice everything. You missed so much—”
“Mel told me,” he mumbled as he moved closer. “I’m damn near oblivious to everything, love. Except you. That’s what you can’t seem to fit in your head. I paid attention to you always. I don’t pay attention to the idiot coeds or Campbell. That was my fault because it hurt you. That was what I missed, but I don’t care about them and their prattle.”
He gave me a moment with that and I nodded. That was what I’d missed of it. That was different than my trying to change him. I’d adjusted to be in a relationship too. It was all logical and fair.
“I’m not leaving. I won’t leave, no matter how many times you push me away or say no,” he stated firmly, his voice cracking.
“That’s not healthy or—”
“As long as I can still see love in your aura when you look at me, I am not giving up on you, Tamsin Vale. I am not giving up on us.” He pulled out his phone and tapped it several times.
OneRepublic’s “Let’s Hurt Tonight” came on, and then he hugged me. He kissed my hair as he wrapped his arms around me so every inch of us was touching.
“I won’t leave you again. I wasn’t leaving you before. I just needed time. I’m sorry it seemed like I abandoned you,” he whispered in my ear. “I understand why it did. I don’t blame you for thinking that. It was my fault. I was coming back. I could never leave you, my sweet fairy. Never. And I won’t now. I’m yours. I’ve always been and I will always be yours.”
I didn’t know what else to do but dance with him.
When the song was over he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine, his tears salty on my lips. He didn’t push past that, pulling away and letting me go.
I grabbed his arm and quickly gave him the rune. “Put your blood on it and the dogs will come. I don’t know if we can work things out but losing you, you dying because of me, would kill me too. Promise.”
“I promise, my sweet fairy.” He swallowed loudly. “I’m sorry you regret today.”
“I d—”
“You do,” he whispered. “I saw it in your aura.”
“I don’t know what I feel, Julian.”
He studied my aura and relief filled his eyes. “Well that is true too. I know you don’t lie to me, but you’re always on a roller coaster. Thank you for being honest with me.”
“I’m sorry what we did implied more than I thought.” Man that sounded stupid.
“I guess it really didn’t, and I just assumed it did. I don’t have much more experience than you do, and I’ve always been the socially inept dork, love.” He cupped my cheek and gave me a sad smile. “But even if it hurt you for an instant, I’m sorry. I didn’t want that. No matter how much it meant to me, how much joy I felt being with you again, I’d make it not happen so it didn’t hurt you.”
Damn him. It was so, so hard to remember why I couldn’t be with him when he said things like that, acted as he