1
“Okay, let’s fuck,” I announced after swinging up into Hudson’s room the afternoon before classes resumed from midterm break. I’d seen him at dinner, and the energy crackling between us had pushed me over the edge. It had been building and going insane all semester, invading my dreams—even over break—and I just… I couldn’t deal with it anymore.
“I’m sorry?” he whispered as he blinked at me, rubbing his arms as it swarmed his body as well.
I let out a frustrated growl as I fisted my hair. “I can’t take this anymore! Let’s just fuck it out. I need it to dissipate. It’s so distracting to the point it’s gonna get me in trouble. So fine, we can fuck. Let’s fuck.”
And in a flash, it stopped. It was as if I’d jumped in cold water when my skin was sunburnt. I gasped, and it was my turn to blink at him, completely confused as to what had just happened.
Except he wouldn’t look at me.
“There, it’s gone. You—we don’t need to now.”
Rage filled me as I realized what had been going on. “You’ve been controlling it? Controlling me with—”
“No.”
“Bullshit,” I rasped, hating he could still break my heart. I turned to book it back out the window, but he was faster, grabbing me around the waist and making me move further into the room, cutting off my escape.
“No, I will not let there be one more misunderstanding between us that I cause,” he declared, chuffing in a way that let me know his dragon was riding him. “I cannot control the mating energy between us. I can’t. It is a draw and a bond. I did not know, nor think, it could happen between those of a different species. I thought—and for months—it was because of the way your magic spiraled.”
There was more to it, but he was waiting for me to accept that. I flipped on my telepathy, listening to his thoughts that were racing too fast for him to lie, nodding when I believed him, and he could continue.
“I thought it was because of the way you’d protected my family, bonded with River, that we were important to each other. I don’t know. Fate brought you here, and Melody back to our knights—I don’t know.” Again he waited and I nodded. “Then I found evidence it could be from another species, but it wasn’t clear. It was all—I should have looked into it more and talked with you. I was wrong.”
“What was this now?” I asked, not wanting to talk about that.
He cleared his throat. “The only time the energy stops is when both mates have been injured by the other. Fate won’t force physical attraction or push for sexual intimacy when both are injured.”
I couldn’t even hide my reaction, shock and disgust blooming all over my face. “So fate is pushing me to forgive you because it makes me horny?”
Anger filled his eyes, but he let out a slow breath and chilled. “You are so damn pessimistic, but I understand why.” He huffed. “I try to. No, that’s not—it’s not about being horny, Tamsin. I’m your mate. It hurts me to see you upset. Doesn’t—weren’t you in pain to see River and I upset?”
That was fair and the truth, and I acknowledged it, chilling a bit even as I crossed my arms over my chest. I even went a step further. “I’m sorry. This is all sensitive to me given how I found out. I’m not trying to be a bitch or shit on your traditions. I didn’t grow up with any of this, and from what I’ve seen, all the mating stuff seems a lot like traps, not good stuff.”
He didn’t respond right away, sighing. “I understand, but I’ve only seen the loving side. My parents were an alliance pairing, but were mates. They are yin to yang, and their love is so real and amazing. It’s what every dragon dreams of finding, so it’s an instant reaction to defend it.”
“I’ll try and chill, but that’s the best I can promise.”
“I appreciate that.” He cleared his throat. “So the push is for me to make amends and fix that I hurt my mate, even though you asked for time. Maybe you give me the chance to make things right, but fate and the gods won’t be so shallow that sex makes everything right.”
Again, that was fair, and I acknowledged it. So, that left what had happened just now, and I asked the question again. I was shocked when anger