not being seen, otherwise I would have just gone for the soul vessel. Anyway, I'm at the door, and the shadow is coming across the street, all the edges shaped like crows, and Scottie starts barking like mad, and runs at it. Brave little guy. Anyway, as soon as the shadow touches him he yelps and drops over dead. Meantime, a woman comes to the door, and I look in and see a statue, like a fake Remington bronze on the table in the foyer behind her, and it's glowing red, like red-hot. And I blow by her and grab it. And the shadow evaporates. Just like that, it's gone. That's the last time I was late getting a soul vessel."
"Sorry about your dog," Charlie said. "What did you tell the woman?"
"That's the funny thing, I didn't tell her anything. She was talking to her husband in the next room, and he wasn't answering her, and she runs back to see what happened to him. Didn't even look at me. Turns out the guy was having a heart attack. I took the statue, went and picked up Scottie's body, and left."
"That had to be tough."
"I thought I was Death for a while, you know, special. Because the guy croaked with me there, but it was just coincidence."
"Yeah, that happened to me, too," Charlie said. But he was still disturbed by the whole "great battle" revelation. "Vern, would you mind if I took a look at your Great Big Book?"
"I don't think so, Charlie. In fact, I think we'd better say goodbye. I mean, if the Great Big Book is right, and I don't have any reason to believe it's not, then we shouldn't even be talking."
"But it's a different version than I have."
"You don't think there's a reason for that?" Vern said. His eyes magnified in his big glasses made him look like a madman for a second.
"Okay, then," Charlie said. "But e-mail me, okay? That shouldn't hurt."
Vern looked in his coffee cup like he was thinking, as if by telling the story of the shadow that came down out of the mountains, he'd frightened himself. Finally he looked up and smiled. "You know, I'd like that. I could use some pointers, and if something weird starts to happen, we'll stop."
"Deal," Charlie said. He drove Vern back to his car, which was parked around the block from his mother's house, and they said good-bye.
Jane met Charlie at the door. "Where have you been? I need the car to go get her floss."
"I brought doughnuts," Charlie said, holding up the box, maybe a little too proud.
"Well, that's not the same, is it?"
"As floss?"
"Dental floss. Can you believe it? Charlie, if I'm still flossing on my deathbed, you have my permission to garrote me with it. No, I'm leaving you instructions to garrote me with it."
"Okay," Charlie said. "So other than that, she's okay?"
Jane was digging in her purse, had found her cigarettes and was looking for her lighter. "Like gum disease is the big danger at this point. Goddammit! Did they take my lighter at the airport?"
"You still don't smoke, Jane," Charlie said.
She looked up. "So what's your point?"
"Nothing." He handed her the keys to the rental car. "Can you grab me some toothpaste while you're out?"
She gave up searching for the lighter and threw the cigarettes back into her purse. "What is it with this family and the compulsive dental hygiene?"
"I forgot to bring any."
"Okay." Jane braced the keys in her hand, ready to go in the ignition, and tucked her purse under her arm like a football. She dropped into a crouch and pulled down her mirrored, wraparound sunglasses that, with her short platinum blond hair and Charlie's black pinstripe suit, made her look a little like a cyborg assassin from the future getting ready to dash out into the poisonous atmosphere of planet Duran Duran. "It's fucking hot out there, isn't it?"
Charlie nodded and held up the doughnut box again. "The glazed have suffered."
"Oh," Jane said, lifting her glasses again. "Cassandra called. After you called this morning she noticed your date book on the nightstand. Well actually, she said that Alvin and Mohammed dragged her in there and pushed it at her. She wondered if you needed it."
"What about Sophie, is she okay?"
"No, she's been abducted by aliens, but I wanted you to digest the bad news about forgetting your date book first."
"You know, that right there is why Mom is ashamed of you," Charlie said.
Jane laughed. "Guess