I tried to figure out how the fuck this was happening to me. How could I be losing them right now? How could this be it?
"You promised," I breathed. "You promised I'd always have you."
Rick wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me tight, but Fox's hand clamped down on my elbow and he tugged me back.
I let go of Maverick, thinking Fox was about to embrace me too, but the moment I released him, Fox tugged harder, yanking me off balance and tossing me down in the mud at his feet.
The shock of my impact with the ground echoed right through my body until it was tearing cracks through my heart. No, not cracks, great uncrossable ravines full of darkness and pain which I knew in my soul were never going to heal over again.
My mouth fell open as I just sat in the mud, staring up at him, unable to comprehend how this was my Fox, my boys, all of them doing this to me.
JJ cursed and Chase hung his head as I just stayed there in the mud, crying and begging, not knowing what else I could do, not caring that they saw me breaking for them, just praying they'd realise I couldn't survive this. That I’d rather die than this.
"Leave her there," Fox barked, moving towards Maverick and gripping his arm as he turned him away from me.
And then they were all walking away and I was watching them with so much pain consuming me that I didn't even notice the man stalking over to me until he hauled me up and started dragging me away.
I kicked and screamed, reminded of the way Axel had overpowered me as I was dragged against the man's chest and I knew I needed to escape him more surely than I'd ever known anything in my entire life.
I thrashed and screamed, calling the boys’ names and pleading with them to help me as they all just piled into Luther's van without a word.
The guy holding me rounded to the trunk of his car and popped it open.
My screams intensified as I realised what he was going to do and I fought with all I had as he forced me into the trunk.
My gaze caught on JJ in the back of Luther’s van a moment before the trunk slammed closed over me and I was plunged into darkness where I thrashed and screamed and cried and kicked and no one came to help me.
Not Fox or Rick or Chase or JJ.
None of my boys came for me when I needed them like I never had before. And the weight of that betrayal settled over me so thickly that I was drowning in it. Never destined to see light or joy or happiness ever again.
T he journey back was completely, suffocatingly silent. But the sound of my heart breaking was louder than anything I had ever heard. It tore down the middle of me until I couldn't breathe. I didn't feel anything but pain. No regrets of killing that guy. No remorse over putting him in the ground. I didn't want to say it out loud, but Luther's words had rung true with me. Clive had fucked over our girl. He'd stood and watched while Axel had hurt her and had done nothing to help. He would have stood there and seen her life destroyed and I was fucking glad he was no longer drawing breath.
But Rogue...shit, I hadn't wanted it to be like that. I knew she had to leave, knew that everything was fucked, but watching her break had broken me too. Which was why I was going to go after her. Fuck this life. I wasn't staying. I'd always been an outcast in Luther's house anyway. I'd never been a real son to him, never been born to greatness like Fox. The only thing that had ever given me purpose was Rogue. And I'd die before I let her escape me. Seeing that asshole push her into the trunk of his car had twisted up my insides and I'd nearly unleashed the demon in me once more. I'd managed to hold myself back though. I might have been angry, but I wasn't stupid.
There was one thing I'd learned tonight that I couldn't unlearn. I could kill without blinking. I could do any unthinkable thing for the sake of my girl. And I would do it again and again until she was back in my arms.
Chase's shoulder pressed to mine