was I planning anyway, to bear my heart like some soppy twat and let her watch as she broke it?
"Woah, did I touch a nerve? Are the Power Rangers like, blasphemous to Batman or something? They could totally beat him though by the way. Sorry not sorry."
"I don't wanna talk about the fucking Power Rangers," I snarled.
She bit her lip, smothering a laugh. "Shit, I so did not realise how much of a comic geek you are and how much you hate the Power Rangers."
"I don't hate the -" I stopped myself mid sentence, turning sharply away from her, taking out my pack of smokes and lighting up another one. "Forget it."
"Chase." She moved to my side, rubbing shoulders with me. "I know what this is about."
"You do?" I asked, my heart rising into my throat to just beat there like a fleshy lump of meat that I couldn't swallow properly.
"Yeah." She looked at me seriously, her eyes large and open, reminding me of a dawn sky that was full of a million possibilities. "It's because I never gave your mom's pee pads back, isn't it?"
I roared a laugh, shaking my head at her and dropping my arm over her shoulders, glad for an excuse to just forget about the pain in my heart for now. "Yeah, little one. It's been killing me ever since. I gave you a whole pack. You can't have used them all."
"I stuck the last of them to Rosie's forehead and cheeks while she was sleeping. Put two on the soles of her feet too. She fell right on her ass when she leapt out of bed the next morning. Ka-donk. I wish I'd thought to keep one for myself too, because I about pissed myself laughing."
I chuckled, holding her tighter, wishing I never had to let go as I leaned in close and whispered in her ear. "You wanna know a secret?"
"Always," she said, nodding firmly.
"I stole another pack from my momma after that day I took you to the clinic and carried them around in my bag for like three months 'cause I thought you might bleed out on me if I didn't have them."
She threw her head back as she laughed and I grinned at her. "You're too cute, Chase Cohen."
"I think stupid is the word you're looking for." Not that I knew a whole lot more about periods and wombs and all that mysterious girl stuff that went on between their legs. But Google had given me a few clues since then. Though whenever I searched terms like how do vaginas work, or what's a vulva, I inevitably ended up on porn sites and well...that only ever ended one way.
"Hmm...." She smiled at me and for a single, fleeting moment that smile lit up all the shadows inside me and made me forget she'd chosen my friend over me. "Let's settle on stupidly cute and leave it at that."
I released a breath of amusement as we headed past the fortune teller. "So are you gonna throw away your fortune tonight too?"
"Nah." She snuggled in close under my arm and it felt so right that it somehow fractured my heart even deeper. Please don't leave me. "I don't wanna piss off any kind of higher power right now."
"Come on, you don't really believe in that shit, do you?" I cocked a brow at her and she shrugged.
"Better to be safe than sorry tonight."
"I suppose, but there's not much I can do either way. If there's a hell, I'm pretty sure my daddy bought me a ticket the day I was born," I joked, but she didn't laugh.
"Don't worry, Ace, if there's a heaven, I'll steal us all a ticket. And if that doesn't work, we'll sneak in the back. Just like always."
"I'll hold you to that," I teased.
"Good. Because wherever I go, you all go too."
I nodded, but my heart ached as we walked back to the arcade. Because I already knew she couldn't keep that promise. And soon enough, our perfect little world was going to crumble. Maverick was the only one who'd be walking away with Rogue at his side. I just wished I could figure out a way to stop time before then. Or better yet, go back long before she'd made that choice and ensure she made a different one. But time always just kept moving in one direction, and I knew for sure that fate and destiny were bullshit. Because my fortune card had said in the