her walk funny after. I didn't like those guys. But if I said anything to Mom she just brushed it off like it was nothing. I couldn't imagine any kind of sex being nothing. It seemed like a whole world of something to me. But maybe that was just because I was still a virgin and didn't know a clitoris from an ovary.
Rogue curled up, moving back against me so her body nestled against mine and fuck that felt good. Chase was soon full and laid down on her other side, squashing her between us so all I could hear were their soft breaths and the sea crashing against the shore somewhere below us.
Despite my failed kiss attempt and this night being one hell of a mindfuck, I found peace with my friends. Two of the four people I cared most about in the world. And sleep stole me away to where all the possibilities of the future awaited me. Where I'd be big, strong, rich. And a man who'd be able to kiss Rogue right.
I couldn't sleep. There was far too much shit running through my head for me to just crash. So I sat up and took another cigarette from the box, frowning at the sight of the final three I had in there. I'd been stealing smokes off of my momma since I could remember. But never Dad. I wasn't suicidal. Didn't matter if he was blind drunk or hanging out his ass, he knew how many he had right down to the tobacco leaf.
I pushed to my feet, sweeping my dark curls away from my face and glancing down at Rogue in JJ's arms. My heart ripped open at the seams and I found myself just staring, wondering what Maverick had that I didn't. I supposed the answer was pretty obvious when I thought about it. Maverick was Luther's prodigy, even if he wasn't meant to rule the Harlequins, it was clear he was being groomed to hold power in this town. I envied that on a deep fucking level. Him and Fox were destined to be something. Someone. The closest I was ever gonna get to a crown was mostly likely working at Burger King. Of course, I was well aware Luther had his eye on me and JJ too for his gang. I didn't like being told what to do, so the idea of being in a position where my friend's dad bossed me around rather than my own wasn’t exactly appealing, but I was willing to give it a shot. Because anything had to be better than living under Dad’s orders. I just wished there was a chance for me to do something important with my life too. Maybe in prison, now that I was an accessory to murder. Not that I was complaining. I might have been hurt by learning Rogue's real desires tonight when it came to all of us, but that didn't change how I felt about her. Even if she'd torn my heart from my chest with her fingernails, it would still belong to her. No matter how deeply she ever wronged me.
I headed through the arcade and opened the door, stepping outside into the balmy night air, dragging down a lungful of it before lighting up a smoke and sucking down some poison. I'd watched a nature doc once about a lion who'd ruled his pride, become a king among beasts. He'd been everything a lion could be, strong, ruthless, unshakeable. And then one day he'd pissed off the wrong buffalo, taken a horn to the gut and that was that. It was a reminder of how much of a bitch life really was. It didn't matter how strong you were, didn't matter if you were a king of your kind, fate could twist on you at any moment and it would be game over. So who cared if I smoked, or drank or jumped off the end of the pier whenever I felt like it? I was gonna suck every drop of goodness out of life, because one day I was gonna meet my own buffalo. And I was determined to have really lived before then.
I walked to my favourite spot on the pier, past the amusement rides to the very end where an old fortune teller machine stood. The creepy ass mannequin inside had paint flaking off its face and someone had carved a hairy dick into its forehead. Someone who may or may not have