man who has killed little girls and boys because—well, because he is insane? Is that the man we’re talking about? Yes, Hazel, I beat him, because he is a monster who has information about other monsters. That is how this business works. Why do you care? What possible reason could you have—”
“He’s my brother, Carlo,” she says coldly.
For a long time, it’s like she hasn’t spoken. I look Hazel up and down. She’s so beautiful, even now, even when she’s done to me exactly what I feared she would. She has betrayed me, like Jasmine did, but it’s worse with Hazel because I care about her a thousand times more.
Even now, I want to wrap a blanket around her shoulders and get her some shoes. Yet I force myself to remain still.
“What did you just say?”
“Ben is my big brother. I couldn’t—when I heard him scream, I couldn’t just ignore it. I can’t explain it except to say that if you heard Emily yelling like that, what would you do?”
“Emily isn’t a killer,” I say. “Emily would die before hurting a child.”
“I know,” Hazel says. “I know.”
“Fergal’s daughter is named Colleen. She ran away when she was meant to marry a cartel don. Benjamin told us this.”
She nods. “I know. My name is Colleen Hazel Sweeney. After I climbed down from that hotel room and ran away, I started using the name Hazel Conway. I guess I kept Hazel because I wanted a part of my old self, y’know?”
“Y’know?” That little turn of phrase, with the lilt in the ending, the same way Benjamin used it. I just knew there was something suspicious about that. I told myself I was being paranoid. It turns out I wasn’t being paranoid enough.
She approaches cautiously, walking around the desk. She presses her hand against mine as she blinks back tears.
“I didn’t lie to you about the abuse,” she says. “Dad abused me every day for years, Carlo, for as long as I can remember. He beat me. He blamed me for things that could not be my fault. He took a sick pleasure in finding the most fucked-up cartel don to marry me to. Jorge ‘Guts’ Guzman. He’s crazy. They both are. But Ben’s not as bad as him.”
“That’s not saying much, Hazel.” I pull my hand away and walk across the room, because if I don’t, I might just pull her into my arms instead. I might just kiss her. I might just wipe those tears from her cheeks. “You have no idea what you’ve done.”
“I betrayed you like Jasmine did.”
“Then you do know. And you did it anyway. Which is worse.”
I hear her sit down at my desk, poking around with the letter opener. The tap-tap-tap seems oddly loud in the quiet room. She’s just betrayed me and yet here I am with my back turned to her when she’s got a knife in her hand. I still trust her, on some warped level. But I’ve been too weak. I love her, though. I fucking love her.
What a mess.
“He said Mom’s death was my fault. She died giving birth to me, so he always had an excuse for the things he did to me. He said that Mom was a quiet, obedient woman and losing her for a disobedient slut like me was the worst trick God could ever have played on him.”
“Bullshit. He didn’t call you that,” I growl. “Your own father didn’t call you that.”
She just sighs. I stare stubbornly out the window. I won’t look at her. Her father killed my little brother and my father, crippled Emily, scarred Mother, scarred Nario, scarred me. Her fucking father.
“I bet you were laughing when I told you about the attack,” I snarl. “I bet you could hardly stop yourself from smiling.”
“You’re joking,” she hisses. “I didn’t know about it until you told me.”
“You said you were an only child. You said you came from the Midwest. You lied to my face. And that’s why …” Cogs click into place. I rest my knuckles against the cool glass so hard it almost breaks. “The Irish, that night at the rec center, the reason they left right when I got you inside… It was because they were after you. Not me, not Nario.”
“I don’t know. Maybe. I heard that Dad put a hit out on me. I’m not sure.”
“The Elephant never forgets,” I whisper. “You got his hand amputated.”
“Yeah.” She laughs strangely. “Don’t blame me if I don’t feel too guilty about