my body, guilt flows over me.
But the reason is twofold.
Guilt for trying to leave.
Guilt for not wanting to leave.
I’m being torn in two.
With a sniffle, I bend down, picking up the key from the floor. “When I found this, I thought it might be a way out. I found it yesterday. I wasn’t sure whether it was for the door or not. After we had our fight this morning, I had to try. Nycto… I really need you to find Ivy. It’s tearing me apart inside. I can’t bear the pain anymore.”
He reaches out, taking the key from me with a drawn-out exhale. “This key… it’s a part of my past. Something I want to tell you about one day, but trust is important to me, Eva. I can’t let you in if you’re going to shut me out.”
I hear what he’s saying, and I know he’s right. I can’t deny there’s something between us, but Ivy has to come first, especially when she’s God only knows where having God only knows what happening to her.
“I don’t want to shut you out anymore, Nycto, but I’m so scared when I think about Ivy. The thoughts of her being treated like… oh God, I can’t even voice the words, it’s driving me insane. You have to see where I’m coming from?”
Nycto threads his fingers with mine pulling me over to the bed. “Sit with me.” The serious nature of his tone concerns me. He turns facing me, a heavy expression on his face. “There’s a reason I’m here, Chiquita. I have some news for you.”
I sit taller as my insides quiver in anticipation, and it’s not the good kind. “If it’s bad, don’t tell me. I don’t want to know.” He gulps a lump down his throat which only serves to make me even more nervous. “Oh God, is she dead?” I blurt out, tears filling my eyes.
He grips both my hands. “Fuck! No! Eva, we found Ivy.”
My heart stops.
Then thuds so hard I see stars.
My breathing is so frantic, I have to close my eyes to stop the blackness from taking over.
My eyes fill with tears that overflow and flood down my cheeks. A small squeak comes from my mouth as I rush forward into Nycto’s arms, burying my face in his neck. My emotions are all over the place. I want to get lost in him right now.
He’s found Ivy.
Maybe he is a superhero.
Maybe I’ve pegged him all wrong.
His hands smoothing up and down my back as I cry into his shoulder.
“Thank you. Thank you, Nycto. When will you be getting her?”
Smoothing some hair from my face, he pulls back from me. “That’s the thing, Eva…” My chest tightens, dreading his next words. If he can’t get to her, I don’t think I can handle it. “I wanted to make sure she was okay first. Make sure whatever she went through, she could handle seeing you.”
“I… I don’t understand.”
Something crosses his face, a pained expression, or maybe something else. I can’t quite decipher it. “She’s here, Eva, at the clubhouse.”
My eyes widen as I jump from the bed in excitement. “Holy shit! Is she okay? Did they hurt her? Where has she been? How did you save her? Does she know I’m here—”
“Whoa! Slow down, Chiquita.” He stands as I bounce on my toes while glancing at the door. Knowing she’s out there has my skin tingling. “She’s aware you’re here. She’s desperate to see you, too. She’s fine. The man who held her didn’t hurt her. He had her locked up in a room. That’s all I could get from her…” He hesitates. “We brought her in yesterday—”
“Yesterday! Why am I only being told this now?” Anger flares through me as I glare at him.
“Like I said… we needed to make sure she was okay before we brought you two together.”
“I need to see her!” I head for the door.
He stands, walking with me. “Eva...”
“What?” I snap at him in a vicious tone.
“Understand I was trying to protect you. Both of you—”
“Just take me to her, Nycto.”
He wavers but walks to the door. “I don’t want you to leave the clubhouse, Eva.”
I scoff. “That’s not your decision to make anymore.” I push past him, opening the door, for the first time letting myself out of his room. That right there was so fucking empowering. He follows me, and I enter the hall, but my power trip soon evaporates because I don’t know where Ivy is located. I exhale