that wind with nothing more than the trees to cover him. No matter how mad I’d been, no one deserved that.
I pulled myself from the sheets and, just in case Calder was there, gathered what he might need. I found him shivering in the hammock outside.
“How have you survived all these years living outside?” I asked.
“It’s warmer underwater, or by a campfire. I’m not used to so much wind. What you got there? Sleeping bag?”
He rolled out of the hammock, and I handed it to him. He wrestled it flat and, finding the opening, crawled inside. “Very roomy.”
“I zipped two of them together.”
His green eyes glowed in the darkness. “Does this mean we’re not fighting anymore?”
“Sophie says I have to be nice to you. Besides, I like my fish fresh, not frozen.”
He laughed warmly and held the bag open for me to climb in. I snuggled into his chest, and he pulled me up so our faces were even. Gabby was wrong. I appreciated every inch of him. And not just the parts I could see, but the way he made me feel when he looked at me like this—like I filled some hollowed-out part of his heart.
“You’re in a better mood,” I said, zipping the bag closed around us.
He winced. “Marginally. But don’t worry. It’s not because I took someone last night.” He sounded ashamed, even though he was telling me he had nothing to be ashamed of. “I mean, if you were wondering about that. You look nervous. I’m guessing that’s it? I didn’t really think I would—take someone, I mean. At least, I was pretty sure I wouldn’t. Jack set me off, and then you … well … you scared me … the way you looked. Something’s changing with you, Lily. I wish you’d tell me. I promise I won’t be mad.”
“You can’t promise that.”
“Okay, I will try very hard not to be mad. But I will promise you this: I won’t ever try to guilt you again. I was wrong the other night. If, for some reason, I was to slip, it wouldn’t be your fault. It would never be your fault. You’re still all I want.”
I ignored the contradiction in his words. I couldn’t take my eyes off his lips as he spoke. I put my finger against them and lied, “I never thought you’d slip.”
“Then tell me what’s bothering you.”
I took his bottom lip between my teeth, tasting the sweetness. He inhaled sharply and pulled me so close I imagined what it would feel like to be absorbed, to be soaked into his skin as pure emotion, to be but one body. My heart flip-flopped between us as his fingertips pressed my lower back toward him. I slipped my hand inside the back of his shorts, feeling his muscles tense.
“Lily, are you sure?” he asked, his breath hot in my ear. His hand slid over my hip, then up my waist to my rib cage. He threw one leg over mine and waited for my response.
He was right. I wasn’t sure.
Desire turned to fear, which—no doubt—he could see on me, too. He groaned and rolled away from me.
“Wake me up before my dad finds me out here,” I whispered.
He shook his head and said, “I don’t think that’ll be a problem.”
“Which part? The waking or the finding?”
“Shhh.”
Something about the way he dismissed my question put my mind on red alert. “He’s barely been home since we got back to the lake.”
“I know,” Calder said. “He’s having a hard time adjusting. I’m trying to help.”
“Please tell me you’ve at least made some progress in finding Maris and Pavati. Has Dad been able to hear either one of them?”
Calder closed his eyes. Two vertical lines formed between his eyebrows. The hammock swung gently, and I watched as Calder gathered his thoughts and rolled back to face me. “Is this really what you want to talk about?” he asked, kissing my eyelids and then my nose. “Your dad?”
“Yes. No,” I said, my mind addled. What did I ask?
“The answer to your question is no, not yet. And no, he hasn’t been able to hear them, either, but I’m working on a theory.”
“Tell me.”
“He’s never heard their voices before. On land, I mean. Maybe he is hearing them, but he doesn’t recognize the sounds for what they are.”
“That’s possible.” It occurred to me that I was in a unique position. Dad, Maris, Pavati—even Calder—were all family to me, by blood or by choice. I knew all their voices