way I saw fit. But that look … it undid me, forced me to come face-to-face with my own actions. With my own sin.
I saw in her the things I wished never to see.
And it hurt me.
Why?
I knew what I was going to do and why I was there, yet I still couldn’t go through with it. I’ve lost my touch.
I go to my knees and pick up the shards, but one of them cuts into me. I stare at my hands as they shake with rage, and droplets of blood drip down onto the carpet.
This is what I’m supposed to do. Punish the weak, the insubordinate. This is my purpose in life. How my father taught me to live.
Yet … when I look at her, all of that unravels right in front of me.
Maybe Tobias was right. Dragging someone into this House solely because of my own selfish needs may not have been the smartest idea.
Still, I can’t go back.
This is the way it is now. There is no going back. Not from any of this.
She is mine, and she will suffer for her sins.
As will I.
Amelia
For hours, I just sat there with my head buried between my knees, my hands covering my ears so I wouldn’t have to hear the noise coming from next door.
Tobias went on for hours, banging her well into the night.
Who could go do that for hours on end?
I’ve never heard of anyone fucking for so long. Unless they did it multiple times.
I swallow hard as images flash through my mind of Eli touching my breasts, fondling my pussy, and the aching need inside to be taken and used.
Why would I ever want this? Why would I ever claim to like it? I don’t understand what’s wrong with me.
Unless … he’s right.
Unless … I do, deep down, want to actually be punished.
I shake my head and mutter, “No, no, no.”
It just can’t be true. I would never … right? I’m a good girl. He even calls me an angel. I’ve never done anything bad in my life. At least, not as far as I know.
There are just … hours missing from my mind.
Hours I can’t seem to get back, no matter how hard I try.
Only two things are going to help me now. Either find out what I did by talking to Eli and convince him to tell me with whatever means necessary… or try any way to make a grand escape out of this place. And is that really a choice?
Biting my lip, I force myself to get up from the floor and approach the wall. I put my ear against it, but no sounds are audible. It’s like the whole place has gone completely silent.
Then I hear a whimper.
Anna?
I hurry to the little opening underneath the vent and shove aside the furniture I’d put back in case someone came into my room and saw. I go to my knees and whisper, “Anna?”
The only sound is my own heartbeat.
Then some rustles as the curtain is shoved aside.
“Amelia …” she mutters.
“Is he gone?” I ask.
She nods. Then she starts to bawl. “I’m sorry.”
“Hey, ” I reply, wondering how she’s doing. “It’s okay. You don’t have to apologize.”
“I said something I shouldn’t have,” she says.
“It’s not your fault,” I reply.
When she cries even harder, I slam the wall.
“Listen to me, what they’re doing to you is not your fault. Do you hear me?”
“But it is!” she yelps, sniffling. “I begged him to.”
I pause and lean back, completely confused. Why would she ask that? Who would want this? And then I remember … I did the same thing. It’s so sophisticated, this scheme, that I don’t even notice it happening right in front of me.
“He came into my room and made me talk until I gave him what he wanted …”
“Sex?” I ask.
“The truth,” she replies. “And I couldn’t stop myself. Once he started touching me, I just lost it. I completely lost myself.” She sighs out loud. “I don’t understand,” she mutters, breaking out in tears again. “Why did I say all those things out loud?”
“Shh … it’s okay,” I say. “Don’t cry. You did what you had to do to survive.”
“No, that’s not why I let him,” she retorts, sighing. “I did it because … because …” She hiccups and shifts on the floor. “Oh, my God, look at me. I’m a mess.”
“I’m sorry, I made everything worse,” I say, wishing I could hug her.
I can’t imagine what’s going through her mind right now.