specifically, but I know everyone in the manor hears my admission.
“Ava?” Will says, walking over confidently as he interrupts my conversations with the others. He left the wounded vampire to care for himself, because he sees my distress and has come to my aid, like any good friend would. “What is going on?”
“I hate that I can’t even be around you guys without being nothing more than a temptation. A burden.”
I meet Will’s gaze, and something settles between us. I do not have to ask him to follow me. I do not have to explain my interest in his knowledge of the reversal spell. The mere seconds of time that spans between us says everything I need to say. He nods sharply, and I stand. I walk away, retreating with Will following close behind.
We enter my bedroom, and I slam the door shut behind us. The seconds that pass as we remain silent feel more like hours. There are so many things I want to ask him about this spell, but I know we do not have a lot of time. And I am scared. I am fearful of what this spell might require. Severing a black arts curse cannot be easy magic.
“Are you sure this is what you want?” Will asks before I even have a chance to speak.
I nod feverishly. “I can’t stand feeling this way. I am too weak to live in this world. Either I need to restore my powers, or I need to exit it completely.” I do not clarify what the latter part would entail, but I know Will understands me.
“You are a lot of things, Ava, but weak is not one of them,” Will says.
“You do not understand. You have your powers back. You do not know what it is like to sit here, fearing for your life as a rogue vampire drools all over your face and licks his lips. You do not know the mind-numbing fear that wraps around you when you know you are about to die. It was suffocating, Will. Everything about that battle was painful. I was forced to sit and watch as others risked their lives to protect me. Me. A former hybrid. One of the most powerful creatures on the planet! I should have been an asset, not a risk.”
I am pacing my room, shouting even though I know the vampires downstairs can hear me. They are involuntarily eavesdropping due to my volume, listening as I confide in Will my deepest insecurities and worst regrets. But I do not care about them. I only care about the spell, about returning to my former self.
“I can’t feel this way anymore,” I confide. “I can’t do nothing while my friends are butchered in front of me.”
Will nods. “Okay. We can do the spell. Holland has already said he will help. We were just waiting for you to agree.”
I swallow hard, my pulse suddenly racing. I still do not know what it entails, and I am terrified to ask. I figure this is one of those moments when knowing too many details will work against me, so instead of asking about the ritual, I make a confession.
“I am scared.”
“I know,” Will says.
He walks over to me and takes my hands, bringing my palms to rest against his chest. I look up at him, staring in awe at how wonderful he has been these past several weeks. Will has given up his life to help me restore my powers. He has known me only a fraction of the time, yet he has shown me more devotion than my own mother.
“I promise everything will be okay,” Will says softly.
His crimson irises are bright and big, and they do not hide his fear, even as it mirrors my own. I know he is happy that I have decided to partake in this ritual, but it comes at a cost. Everything in Darkhaven comes at a cost.
“Is it dangerous?” I ask, silently begging him to lie to me.
“Isn’t all magic dangerous in some way?” Will says, avoiding my question.
“And you are sure you can complete the ritual?” I ask. My mouth runs dry as I wait for his response.
“With Holland’s help, yes.”
I sigh heavily, sharply, and then I inhale long and slow. I take deep breaths, steadying my nerves, readying myself for this next moment. Because after this, nothing will ever be the same.
I meet Will’s gaze again, and this time, I am determined. I do not speak, and nothing about my actions