and our attackers used that to their advantage.
The rogue vampires’ timing was perfect, and I can’t help but wonder how they managed to pick the most opportune time to attack. How did they know we would be weak at that exact moment? How did they know that was the perfect time to risk an attack on a well-established nest? And why? Why now? Why us? We have not had any issues with rogue vampires since we cast them from Darkhaven months ago.
A tingle washes over my skin. It feels eerily like someone is watching me, but I brush off the sensation. Of course someone is watching me. Every vampire who survived the fight is staring at me as though this was my fault. Not being able to stand the accusations, I do not meet their gazes. I do not need them to make me feel even more responsible for this mess. If I was at my strongest, I might have been a real asset. Instead, I cowered in the corner, waiting to be saved like some pathetic damsel in distress.
“Are you okay?” Malik asks.
I blink several times, rooting myself back into this reality. I need to stop losing myself in my mind. Things here are more important. I might not have been an ally when the vampires attacked, but I will be one now.
I nod, swallowing hard. My chest hurts, my head is throbbing, and my heart feels like it exploded hours ago. But I am okay. I survived—no thanks to me. If it were not for Jasik, I would have died today. I have always been rash in my choices, but I do not think I have ever been this risky before.
What is wrong with me?
Why do I feel like I have something to prove?
I glance up, noticing how Malik’s gaze is focused on my chest. I look down to see what has caught his attention, sucking in a sharp breath as I stare at the tiny black veins coating my skin. They seem to have spread farther, wrapping themselves around my entire body, successfully squeezing the life from me. When I stare at them for too long, they move, so I look away, adjusting my jacket so it better covers my skin.
“Ava,” someone else says. I glance over and watch as Amicia glides toward me as if she is floating, not walking. She moves so effortlessly, so confidently. I envy her fearlessness.
“Amicia…” I whisper, feeling deep regret for having nearly ruined everything by thinking I was strong enough to join this fight. Some of her vampires likely died because Jasik was focused on protecting me. Their blood is on my hands, and my hands are already stained in red.
As always, Amicia looks pristine and perfect, as if she were not just in the midst of a war. Dressed in tight black pants and a matching top, nothing about her looks as though she just battled to the death. Her hair is loose and flows around her shoulders, her eyes are lined with black liner, and her lips are painted with a deep-red shade of lipstick.
In fact, the only thing that betrays her recent involvement in this battle is her hands. Her dark, smooth skin is coated in ash. Her black fingernails are caked with debris, likely the remnants of recently departed rogue vampires. The fact that Amicia can enter a battle and still look beautiful afterward shows just how powerful she truly is. I would kill for that strength, that confidence, that power.
“You need to leave,” Amicia says bluntly.
My heart drops to the floor. I do not look down, fearing I will find it splattered against the stairs. My chest feels hollow without its steady beats. My eyes swell, and my mouth runs dry.
Leave? I can’t leave. I belong nowhere else. I have nowhere else to go.
“Go to your room,” Amicia clarifies. “You are too great a temptation right now.”
I glance past her, looking into the eyes of a dozen hungry vampires. The accusations I saw just moments ago are gone. No longer do I see hatred and blame. I see hunger. They are wounded, and I am human.
Even the eyes of the hunters are distrusting. They too fear their primal, innate desires will overtake their common sense. I experienced those same fears when I transitioned. I know how much it hurts to control your urges when all you want to do is submit to them.
“I hate this,” I whisper to myself. I am not speaking to anyone