him the very first time I saw him. I loved him the moment he flashed his crimson eyes at me and promised he could save my life. Even back then, I think he loved me too.
I think that is why he risked everything to save me that night. It scares me to know Jasik has wormed his way into my heart, because the harder I love him, the greater the pain will be when I lose him.
Hours later, when I wake, Jasik is still lying beside me, but he is not sleeping. He is resting behind me, body pressing against my own. Using his fingertips, he traces invisible designs along my bare skin. I shiver under his soft touch. He leans forward and kisses my skin gently where he was just touching.
I turn around to face him. I am lying on my back so I can see him more clearly. Jasik is perched up on an elbow, using one hand to hold his head upright while the other caresses my skin.
In this light, he is beautiful. I smile at him, but he does not see me. He is too busy focusing on his artwork. I giggle when he brushes a particularly sensitive spot, and I glance down, finally seeing my body through his eyes.
I suck in a sharp breath as I stare at the tiny black veins that coat my skin. Internally chastising myself for being so stupid, I tear my gaze away from the secrets I have been keeping to meet Jasik’s eyes. He looks at me now, not bothering to hide the pain there.
“I am sorry,” I whisper, knowing those words will fall flat. While I am sorry, I am not sorry for the right reasons. I am not sorry I kept the secret. I am only sorry he found out before I was ready to tell him.
The vampires know I am getting worse. I am thinning, my vision is blurry, I am not as hungry as I once was, I fall far too often, I get dizzy spells when I stand, I vomit a tarry substance that seems to move on its own… The list goes on and on. But for some reason, I have been hiding this small part of my transition. The worst part is I do not even know why I felt the urge to keep it a secret from Jasik. I just…did.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Jasik asks, clearly hurt. His fingers trace the sprawling patterns, as if they are merely tattoos spanning my skin.
“I don’t know,” I whisper. My voice breaks as I speak.
I know this is not the answer he wants to hear, but he does not push it further. Instead, we sit in silence, both staring at my disfigured body, both wondering how much longer I have to consider my options before this evilness inside of me steals my choices from me. I only have so much time before the darkness will win.
We are still, both afraid to speak but equally afraid to break this moment, to walk away and pretend it never happened. This is important. We must talk about it. But we are both too scared to be the one to admit just how serious my situation has become.
A crashing noise jolts us awake. Before I can react, Jasik is out of bed, throwing on his clothes. He reaches the door in the blink of an eye, but before Jasik leaves, he turns back, like he is seeing me for the first time.
I blink again, and he is beside me. He thrusts his lips against mine. His kiss is rushed and hard; his lips smack against me almost painfully. I am still forming a kiss by the time he is pulling away.
“Get dressed,” Jasik orders. “It is not safe here.”
I nod, pulling the covers even tighter around me, as if they can protect me from what is happening downstairs. Someone screams, a heart-piercing bellow that ends abruptly. The manor is silenced. I glance at the bedroom door and then back at Jasik, my heart beating so fiercely, it is painful. My chest burns, my throat dry. I have never been so terrified in my life.
I watch as Jasik is torn between leaving my side to aid the vampires and staying with me, to protect me from whatever might come crashing through my bedroom door.
“You must go,” I say to him, even though the words physically pain me, as if they lash out, slicing through skin.
Again, Jasik looks from