What happened?”
He sets the huge flower arrangement on the ground and tries to reach for me, but I step out of his grasp. If I let him touch me, my resolve will crack. I’m not strong enough to withstand Conor Edwards’ touch.
“Taylor, what’s wrong?” The hurt in his eyes is immediate and gutting.
I can’t form the words. I remember how frustrated I was last month when he wasn’t communicating with me, and yet here I am, doing the same thing. But his shit was righted by the simple act of telling his family the truth, removing himself from Kai’s influence.
My shit isn’t going away. The truth won’t help a goddamn bit, because the Internet is fucking forever.
How the hell do I ask him to tie himself to that bullshit long-term? He’s been so patient and encouraging already, but this is too much for anyone to handle. It’s too much for me.
I see the alarm on his face, and I know what comes next. The pain, the betrayal. I don’t want to do this to him. He deserves better and probably always has. We were a mess from the start and maybe it’s fitting it should be just as messy at the end. He won’t understand, but he’ll get over it. They always do.
“I’m sorry, Conor. It’s over.”
39
Conor
This isn’t funny. Because she has to be messing with me, right? Some sick idea of a joke. In lieu of presents I will be scaring the shit out of you.
“Taylor, stop.”
“I’m serious,” she says, looking at her feet.
I came up to the Kappa house to find her acting suspiciously, like she was making an escape. Bag slung over her shoulder. She looks worn out, ragged, and if I didn’t know better, I’d think she was hung-over. Yet there’s a coldness about her. Her expression hard and impassive, as if my Taylor isn’t even in there anymore.
“Listen, I’m sorry, but you’re just going to have to accept it. This is over.” She shrugs. “I’ve got to go.”
Like hell it is. “Talk to me,” I order.
She’s got Sasha with her and they start walking toward a red car parked at the side of the house. I leave the flowers behind to follow them, because she’s not pulling this shit today.
“You’re seriously breaking up with me? On your birthday? The fuck is that, Taylor?”
“I know this is shitty,” she says, walking fast and refusing to look at me, “but it’s the way it has to be. Just…I’m sorry.”
“I don’t believe you.” I step in front of her, needing her to look me in the eyes and tell me the truth. I notice Sasha trying to edge away from us, but Taylor glances over in panic and Sasha stops. She stands a few feet away, but doesn’t leave.
“It doesn’t matter what you believe,” Taylor mutters.
“I love you.” And yesterday I would have said she loved me too. “Something’s happened. Just tell me what it is. If someone said something to make you think—”
“It was a fling, Conor. It’s run its course. You’ll bounce back.” Her gaze drops to the pavement. “We both got in over our heads.”
“What does that even mean?” This woman is fucking infuriating. I feel like I’m losing my mind. Everything up is down and left is right. It makes no sense that yesterday she was in my bed and today she’s practically running at the sight of me. “I was in this for real. I am in it. And I know you were too. Why are you lying?”
“I’m not lying.” Her indignation is far from compelling and the more she feeds me this bullshit, the less I can remember why I’m still standing here like a jackass getting my heart stomped on. “Whatever you want to call it—”
“A relationship,” I growl. “It’s a fucking relationship.”
“Well, not anymore.” She sighs, and at this point I’d believe she didn’t give a shit about me if it weren’t for the fact that I know her better than she’d like to admit. “The semester is ending, anyway. You’re going back to California and I’m going home to Cambridge, so. The long-distance thing never works.”
“I wanted you to come stay with me. Already cleared it with Max and my mom.” I shake my head in frustration. “They were excited to meet you, T. My mom was redecorating one of the spare bedrooms for you.”
“Yeah, well…” She fidgets, eyes bouncing from the ground to the road. Anywhere but me. “I don’t know where you got the idea I wanted