of trust? When someone says, “I trust you so much I can tolerate you having secrets?”
You cherish it. You remind yourself how lucky you are to have been given that trust every day. And when you have moments when you think, I want to do something that would break that trust, whatever that is—loving a woman you shouldn’t be loving, drinking a beer you shouldn’t be drinking—do you know what you do?
You get your ass up onto your two feet, and you take your kids to Disneyland with their mother.
Camila: If I’ve given the impression that trust is easy—with your spouse, with your kids, with anybody you care about—if I’ve made it seem like it’s easy to do … then I’ve misspoken. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.
But you have nothing without it. Nothing meaningful at all. That’s why I chose to do it. Over and over and over. Even when it bit me in the ass. And I will keep choosing it until the day I die.
Daisy: I called Simone that night, when I got back to my place. She was in New York. I hadn’t seen her in a month or so, maybe more, by that point.
And it was one of the first nights in a really long time that I spent alone, not hanging out with anybody, not partying with somebody somewhere. It was just me in my cottage. It was so quiet it hurt my ears.
I called her and I said, “I’m all alone.”
Simone: I could hear this deep sadness in her voice. Which is rare with Daisy if only because she’s usually hopped up on something. Do you realize how sad you have to be to be sad on coke and dexies? I knew, if she knew how often I was thinking about her, she wouldn’t feel lonely.
Daisy: Simone said, “Do me a favor. Picture a map of the world.”
I was not in the mood. She said, “Just picture it.” So I did.
And she said, “And you’re in L.A. You’re a blinking light, you with me so far?”
And I said, “Sure.”
“And you know you blink brighter than anybody. You get that, don’t you?”
And I said, “Sure.” Just humoring her.
And then she said, “And then in New York today, and London on Thursday and Barcelona next week, there’s another blinking light.”
“And that’s you?” I said.
She said, “That’s me. And no matter where we are, no matter what time of day it is, the world is dark and we are two blinking lights. Flashing at the same time. Neither one of us flashing alone.”
Graham: Billy called me at three in the morning one night. Karen was with me. I only answered the phone because I thought somebody must have died if I’m getting a call at three in the morning. Billy didn’t even say hello, he just said, “I don’t think this is gonna work.”
And I said, “What are you talking about?”
And he said, “Daisy’s gotta go.”
And I said, “No. Daisy is not gonna go.”
But Billy said, “I’m asking you, please.”
And I said, “No, Billy. C’mon, man. We’re almost done with the album.”
And he hung up the phone and that was the end of it.
Camila: In the middle of the night one night, I heard Billy get up and pick up the phone. I was pretty sure he was talking to Teddy. I wasn’t sure.
I heard him say, “Daisy’s gotta go.”
And I knew. I mean, of course I knew.
Graham: I just thought he was freaking out because he wasn’t the star of the album anymore. I mean, I knew things between Billy and Daisy were dicey. But back then I thought music was just about music.
But music is never about music. If it was, we’d be writing songs about guitars. But we don’t. We write songs about women.
Women will crush you, you know? I suppose everybody hurts everybody, but women always seem to get back up, you ever notice that? Women are always still standing.
Rod: Daisy wasn’t scheduled to be in that day.
Karen: We were sweetening “Young Stars.” I was in the lounge when I saw Daisy come in. You could tell she was whacked out.
Daisy: I was drunk. In my defense, it was five o’clock. Or close to it. Isn’t that the international drinking time? No, I know. I’m aware it was absurd. Give me a little credit. I know how crazy I am.
Billy: I was in the control booth, listening to Eddie’s dubs, trying to get him to slow his stuff down