inside for the first time since I found his body in his bedroom. I don’t think I can go back in there again. Crow has a look around, and stops to pick up a photo of me as a baby. I’m in my mom’s arms, and she’s laughing as she looks down at me.
“She’s beautiful,” he says, putting the frame back down. “And you are the cutest baby I’ve ever seen.”
“Thank you,” I say, a deep ache filling me as I look at the photo. “She was amazing. And I think she would have loved you.”
He doesn’t look so sure. “I’m a biker, and you’re a nice, well brought-up girl. You sure about that?”
“My dad was a drug kingpin. I doubt they could have used that against you,” I joke, walking past him and picking up the next photo, one with all three of us in it. “And my mom never judged anyone. She wasn’t like that. She was just a kind soul. It bit her in the ass a few times, but that was just who she was. There’s not many people like that nowadays, those who like to give more than receive.”
“That’s true,” he agrees, hugging me from behind. “It’s nice to know that you think she would have liked me.”
“She would have seen the stupid smile on my face and approved.” I grin, turning around and looking up at him. “You’ve been nothing but amazing. I feel lucky to have walked through those doors at Fast & Fury, even if you were an asshole at first. Who knew getting fired would be the best thing to ever happen to me?”
“I’m fucking happy you got fired too,” he admits, lifting my chin up and kissing me. “Now, where do you want me? Are we just going to box everything up? I know this isn’t going to be easy for you.”
“If you could do his bedroom?” I ask shyly, and swallow hard. “I don’t think I can go back there.”
All I can see is Dad lying here, not breathing, and me shaking him, trying to get him to wake up. It’s like my mind wouldn’t let me process it rationally, and I couldn’t accept that he wasn’t going to open his eyes and be okay.
“I’ll do the bedroom,” Crow says instantly, kissing my forehead. He puts some music on, which is a little distracting, and I appreciate that. While he heads into the bedroom, I start with the living room, packing up all of Dad’s DVDs and entertainment items. He still has cassette tapes, all labeled in his handwriting. These are the things I want to keep forever.
My dad was quite the minimalist, so I go from room to room fairly quickly. Crow finishes up in the bedroom and then we both pack up the kitchen together. I try not to think about what I’m actually packing up—my old life here and my childhood. This is the end of an era for me, and a piece of me will always be here.
I find a pink scarf behind the TV, and it’s not mine, so I have no idea whose it could be. Was it Mom’s, which Dad pulled out from somewhere?
“We’re almost done,” Crow says as he sees me getting a little emotional. “You’ve been amazing, and so strong. But if you need to cry and let it out, that’s okay too.”
“How are you so wonderful?” I ask, resting my cheek against his chest. Lifting my head, I press my lips against his, and then get back to work.
Concentrate on the task at hand.
But it’s hard to be productive when your heart is breaking.
“What did you want to be when you were a kid?” I ask Crow when I find a piece of artwork I had made as a child of me dressed up as a doctor.
“It changed a lot,” he admits, smirking at the memory. “But I wanted to join the military for a while there. I’m happy where I am now, though, so I wouldn’t change anything for the world. How about you?”
“I also changed my mind a lot. It went from being a teacher to a doctor to a vet. The one thing I always wanted to be was a mother, though,” I open up to him, smiling sadly.
“You still could be,” he murmurs, kissing the side of my cheek.
I really hope so.
Once we’ve boxed up all of Dad’s belongings, I leave them in the living room for them to be picked up and moved into