life without him. It wasn’t a world I wanted to live in.
Snow fell all around, sticking to my hair and dress. The cold seeped into my veins, but I welcomed it. It made me feel alive. Present.
I fell to my knees in the snow, sucking in a huge lungful of cold air. Magic sparked through me as I took in the mountains ahead. Cold, hard, strong. But beneath them, far in the earth, was a core of heat.
Just like Grey.
Of course this place spoke to him.
This place was him.
I stared at the mountains through the snow and called on my magic, pulling the book from my skirts. Evangeline’s face whispered though my mind as I clutched it tight. My mother’s face. The faces of all of my family.
Power surged through me, strong and fierce. Just like when I’d tried to bring back Beatrix. My soul filled with it, warming me from within.
The wind began to circle around me, the snow swirling in a cyclone. Energy crackled on the air, joining with my magic. It was so powerful that I felt like I was flying, my entire being lighting from within.
All around me, I could feel Grey. His strength, his honor, his kindness. He was with me. I sank my free hand into the cold snow, clutching a handful tight.
Power flowed between me and the night, between me and Grey. Determination replaced fear.
I could do this.
I would do this.
Suddenly, I could smell the firelight and whisky scent that was so distinctly Grey. Could hear the thunder of his magic, despite the fact that the night was clear.
The wind whipped faster and faster, so much magic contained within it. Energy exploded within me, my power going wild. Tears poured from my eyes, grief and hope and terror and joy.
The wind began to slow, the snow so thick that I could no longer see the mountains beyond. It coalesced in front of me, forming the shape of a man. Forming Grey.
One moment, there was only whiteness around me.
The next, there was Grey.
Healthy. Whole.
“Grey.” I fell toward him through the snow.
He pulled me up, his hands strong and warm and real.
I threw my arms around him, hugging him tight. “You’re okay. You’re okay.”
He clutched me close to him, his warmth surrounding me. His scent and strength filled me. “You brought me back.”
“Of course. Of course.” I pulled back and kissed him, my lips cold against his warmer ones. “I was so scared I’d lost you.”
He kissed me again, seeming to try to absorb me into him. I hugged him close, never wanting to let him go. He was having none of it, though. He pulled back and looked at me, his eyelashes now studded with snow. I could only imagine what I looked like. A snowman, perhaps.
“Why the bloody hell are we in the freezing cold?” he asked.
“We’re in Carpathia. In the mountains you love. I went through the portal in your flat.”
Confusion wrinkled his brow. “Why the bloody hell would you do that?”
“This is the place that gives you strength. You said it yourself. Just like Eve’s magic kept Beatrix going until I could find her again, this place kept you going.”
He smiled, shaking his head. “You ninny. It wasn’t mountains or snow or cold that kept me here. It was you. Since the moment I died, it was your light that kept me here.”
“What?” Confusion flashed. “But I tried to bring you back before. It didn’t work.”
“You didn’t believe in yourself yet. You hadn’t fully embraced your magic. You needed to find yourself fully at the Shadow Guild for it to work. I could feel the difference in you once you had.”
“Oh, my gosh.” I looked around at the snow, at the freezing landscape that could have killed me. “So I imagined that this place did it?”
He nodded. “I believe so. I love these mountains, but they aren’t you. They aren’t what kept me going.”
I threw my arms around him again, so blessedly grateful to have him back with me. He pulled me up into his arms, sweeping me out of the snow. I clung to him, my enormous skirts covered in snow. He strode through the drifts, exiting the freezing landscape and arriving back in his flat.
I leaned up and kissed him, determined never to let him go ever again.
19
Carrow
Two days later, after we’d cleaned up the snowdrift in Grey’s flat and confirmed that we hadn’t changed any of the present while in the past, Grey and I returned to Silviu’s