filled my chest.
“Long story,” Mac said. “But we’re here for Carrow.”
He nodded and then turned, opening the door. We filed into the room, and I walked toward the big chair near the cold, quiet hearth.
Somehow, the sight of it made my skin chill even more. Either fear or doubt, I didn’t know. It was the same thing I’d felt before. But this time, I ignored it.
If that was the leader’s chair, then hell, I was going to sit in it.
I sucked in a deep breath and didn’t so much as pause, just spun around and plopped my butt into it.
Nothing happened. I gripped the arms and looked at my friends.
I wanted to ask them if I should really be there.
Me?
Me, with the wonky magic and history of being raised in the human world?
And yet, my history was more than that. It was generations of Soulceresses, leaders of the Shadow Guild.
I closed my eyes, drew in a deep breath, and called on my magic. I let it fill me, glowing warm within. Trembling, I gripped the arms of the chair. The wood was smooth beneath my fingertips.
I wanted to know more. Wanted to understand this role and my place in it. How I could embrace it more fully.
I used my power, trying to draw information from the wood beneath my fingertips. Generations of my ancestors had sat here. It might have taken me a long time to find my way home, but I had.
Finally, I was here.
The air warmed around me, vibrating with energy. I pulled out the book that Evangeline had given me, gripping it tight. I didn’t need to be able to read the strange symbols inside to feel their power and their history. It sang through me.
My magic turned inward, filling my soul and seeming to pull my consciousness away from the present. One moment, there was nothing behind my eyelids. The next, I stood at the entrance to a tunnel.
It stretched out in front of me, dark and cold. Beckoning. Fear sliced through me.
Could I do it?
Walk through that tunnel and find what was on the other side?
I had to.
Somehow, I knew that I had to. Answers were on the other side. Or maybe strength. Growth. Something.
I took one slow step forward, then another. Everything inside me screamed with anxiety, but I kept going, walking into the darkness. The future was unknown and so was my role in it, but if I just kept moving forward and trying, then I would get somewhere.
The air grew colder as I walked deeper into the tunnel but, somehow, I felt less alone. The future beckoned to me, and I knew the tunnel would end.
Almost abruptly, it did. I exited into a glowing white room, feeling my body return to the leader’s chair in the Shadow Guild tower.
All around me, figures appeared. Men and women, most of them dressed in ancient garb. I spotted Evangeline, standing next to a woman who looked just like her. Her daughter, maybe. The baby I’d seen, all grown up.
A feeling of warmth and love surrounded me. This was my family. The long line of them—gone, but not entirely.
A woman stepped out from the crowd, immediately recognizable, even though I’d never seen so much as a photo of her.
My mother.
I surged upright, moving toward her. She held open her arms, hugging me tightly. Joy exploded inside me, warmth and strength.
“You are strong,” she whispered against my ear. “You can do anything.”
“I love you.”
She hugged me tighter. “I love you, too. More than anything. I’m always with you, even if you don’t see me.”
My soul seemed to expand, filling with the love and support of the family I’d never met. I wanted to stay like this forever, hugging my mother in the perfect silence of this magical space.
But Grey.
I couldn’t stay.
He needed me.
The Shadow Guild needed me.
As if she understood, my mother drew back. She looked at me with such love and pride that I thought I might explode on the spot.
“You can do this.” She squeezed my arms tightly, then disappeared.
The rest followed, leaving me in the real Shadow Guild. My friends stared at me, eyes wide and concerned.
My family.
I had more than just my blood family. I had them. My chosen family.
18
Carrow
Suddenly, everything felt so much better.
“Carrow? Are you all right?” Mac asked.
“Fine.”
“You look a bit pale.” Beatrix frowned. “And you zoned out there for a while. Very weird.”
I stood, my soul full and my magic strong. Everything was calmer in my mind, though fear