before condescendingly inviting them to sit down. Convinced for whatever reason that Amalia Ivanovna should be held responsible for all the absentees, she suddenly became exceptionally short with her, which Amalia Ivanovna immediately noticed, becoming exceptionally offended. Such beginnings did not augur well. Eventually, everyone took their places.
Raskolnikov walked in almost at the very moment they got back from the cemetery. Katerina Ivanovna was terribly pleased to see him. Firstly, because he was the only ‘educated guest’ present and, as everyone knew, was ‘in line for a chair at the university here in two years’ time’, and secondly, because he made an instant and courteous apology to her for having had to miss the funeral, much to his regret. She all but threw herself on him, offered him the seat to her left (Amalia Ivanovna was on her right) and, despite her endless fussing and worrying about how the food was being served and whether everyone had their share, despite the excruciating cough which kept interrupting her and choking her and which seemed to have got a great deal worse during these past two days, constantly engaged him in conversation and, in a half-whisper, poured out to him all her pent-up feelings and all her righteous indignation about the failed banquet; moreover, her indignation frequently gave way to the gayest, most irrepressible ridicule of the assembled company, and of the landlady in particular.
‘It’s all the fault of that cuckoo over there. You know who I mean. Her! Her!’ she told Raskolnikov, nodding in the direction of the landlady. ‘Just look at her with those eyes popping out of her head. She senses we’re talking about her, but can’t understand a thing. A real owl! Ha-ha-ha! . . . Cuh-cuh-cuh! And what’s she trying to say with that bonnet of hers? Cuh-cuh-cuh! Have you noticed how desperate she is for everyone to think she’s bestowing her favour on me and honouring me with her presence? I asked her nicely enough to invite the right sort of people, by which I mean acquaintances of the dear departed, and look who she’s dragged in: clowns and slatterns! Take that one with the filthy face: a real snot-rag! And as for these Polskees . . . Ha-ha-ha! Cuh-cuh-cuh! Nobody, and I mean nobody, has ever seen them here before, and I’ve never seen them. So why have they come? Tell me that! So solemn, the lot of them. Hey, Panie!’20 she suddenly yelled at one of them. ‘Had your pancakes yet? Have some seconds! And have some beer! Or perhaps some vodka? Just look at him leaping to his feet and bowing to the floor. They must be starving, poor chaps! Well, let them eat. At least they’re not rowdy, although . . . although I fear for the landlady’s silver spoons! . . . Amalia Ivanovna!’ she suddenly said to her, for almost everyone to hear. ‘If they do steal your spoons don’t expect me to answer for it! Ha-ha-ha!’ she continued, in stitches, before turning to Raskolnikov again and nodding towards the landlady, delighted with her sally. ‘She didn’t understand. Once again she didn’t understand! Look at her sitting there, gawping: an owl, a proper owl, a screech owl in new ribbons – ha-ha-ha!’
Here her laughter turned once more into a violent fit of coughing that lasted a good five minutes. It left blood on her handkerchief and beads of sweat on her forehead. She showed the blood to Raskolnikov in silence and, scarcely pausing to catch her breath, started whispering to him again in the most animated tones, with red blotches all over her cheeks:
‘See for yourself: I gave her the extremely delicate task of inviting that lady and her daughter – you know who I mean, don’t you? The task called for the greatest subtlety, the greatest refinement, but she went about it in such a way that this silly parvenue, this stuck-up so-and-so, this provincial nobody, simply because she’s the widow of some major or other and has come to Petersburg to wear out her skirts begging for a pension in government offices, because, at fifty-five years of age, she slaps on powder and rouge and dyes her hair (everyone knows) . . . well, not only did this so-and-so not deign to show up, she didn’t even ask anyone to convey her apologies, as even the most elementary rules of etiquette demand! And why on earth