to the gravestone bore the dried, brown remnants of last summer’s geraniums. Neglected by her absence.
Alexis placed the bouquet on the ground, the vibrant colors a stark contrast against the darkened granite bearing her mother’s name. Behind her, she sank onto the concrete bench that café patrons had donated so Alexis would have a place to sit when she visited. It used to warm her to sit here and talk with her mother. Today, though, the cold seeped through her clothes and chilled her entire body.
Alexis tugged her coat around her and stared at the ground.
She didn’t even know what she was going to say until she opened her mouth.
“Why—Why didn’t you tell Elliott about me?” she whispered. Her voice sounded weak. Pitiful. “All those years, you could have told me the truth. I could have handled it.”
Her mind imagined her mother’s answer. Because it was for the best.
“Best for who? Me? You? Don’t you remember how hard things were?”
But we got through them together.
“But it could have been easier. He had money.”
Which isn’t everything. We had each other.
“You could still be alive. If we’d had more money, you wouldn’t have had to work so hard, and maybe—”
You know that’s not true. I had cancer. I would have died with or without his financial support.
“But—” Her voice cut off as her mother took control of the imaginary argument.
Say what you really want to say, Alexis. Tell me what’s really bothering you.
“I’m mad at you, Mom.” Her voice shook with the weight of betrayal and, yes, anger. Anger that had festered for too long, been ignored and avoided. Anger that had been unleashed last night at Elliott’s house, anger that had burned all night and all morning, anger that erupted into hot flames at the zoning board meeting. Anger that threatened to consume her whole. “You left me alone, Mom. And maybe I didn’t have to be. How could you do that?”
Headlights from an oncoming car behind her illuminated the headstone. She sniffled and wiped her face, hoping the car would slowly pass. It didn’t. She heard the soft crunch of tires draw closer. The car stopped, and the headlights went out. Of course. Of course someone else would be here at this exact time to visit someone in the same section as her mother’s grave. Because she couldn’t even get a moment to herself in a cemetery.
Behind her, a car door opened and shut with a gentle thud.
“I thought I’d find you here.”
Alexis turned on the bench, heart in her throat. Elliott stood twenty feet away, hands shoved in the pockets of a winter coat.
She turned her back on him. “What do you want?”
“I was worried about you. Candi and I have both been trying to call you.”
“I didn’t want to talk to you.”
“I understand.”
“Then you’ll understand when I tell you to get back in the car and go away.”
Elliott walked closer and gestured toward the bench. “May I?”
“No.” But Alexis scooted sideways anyway to make room for him. She’d ask herself why later.
Elliott placed his hands on his knees and stared at the gravestone. “I came here once last year.”
Alexis looked over at that. “Why?”
“I had some things I needed to say to her.”
Alexis ground her teeth. “You should’ve said them when she was alive.”
“I know.” He focused his gaze on her. “Do you want to know what I told her?”
“Not really.”
“I told her that I missed her.”
Alexis stood up. “Jesus, not this bullshit again.”
“I told her that she’d raised an amazing young woman, and I wished I had been part of it.”
Alexis hugged her torso and stared at the gravestone. She felt her lip tremble and hated him for it. “You had three years to contact me. Why didn’t you?”
“Because I was a coward, and I was ashamed.”
Alexis snorted. “Points for honesty and self-awareness, I guess.”
He didn’t respond.
“It’s not fair,” she said, staring at her mother’s name etched in stone.
“No, it’s not.”
“She was all I had.”
“I know.”
“I don’t want to know the things I know now. I don’t want to be sitting here like this, mad at her because of you. Do you understand that?” She turned back around to face him. “You made me mad at my own mother. You stole something from me. Something so fucking precious. You stole my peace.” Her voice choked and cracked. Elliott’s hands twitched as if he wanted to reach for her, comfort her, but he wisely kept his fingers curled around his knees. She sniffled again. “And now, because of