did an hour of work while he waited for the guys to pick him up. He’d left his own car at home last night, so he’d have the guys drop him off there after they helped Mack, though he still had no idea why it was so difficult to assign people seats for a wedding.
There was a knock at the front door just as he was shutting down his computer. He crossed the room, opened the door, and found Colton and the Russian standing there. “You could’ve just texted that you were here,” he said.
“The Russian has to pee,” Colton said, brushing past Noah as he walked in. He paused in the entryway and looked around. “Cute place. It totally looks like her.”
“Shut up.”
“All I said was cute place.”
“It was the way you said it,” Noah scowled. “And how the hell would you know what looks like her?”
Colton raised his hands and his eyebrows. “Chill, dude. I know there’s always the threat of me stealing your girl because I’m me, but she’s all yours.”
Noah stepped back to let the Russian in. “Bathroom’s over there,” he said with a nod around the corner. As the Russian wandered off, Noah glared at Colton. “If he has to do more than take a piss, I’m holding you personally responsible.”
Colton shrugged and headed toward the kitchen.
Noah shut the door. “Where are you going?”
“I’m looking around.”
“Just don’t touch anything.” Noah hung a left into the living room where he’d been working. He shoved his shit into his backpack and walked into the kitchen to find Colton peering in the fridge.
“What are you doing? Get out of there.”
“I’m hungry.”
“You can’t just take shit from her fridge!”
Colton swung the door shut. “There’s nothing good in there anyway. Just a bunch of weird shit.”
“It’s not weird. She’s a vegetarian.”
Colton’s gaze landed on the red harness hanging from a hook by the door to the garage. He grabbed it and let it dangle suggestively from his fingers. “Kinky. What exactly do you and Alexis do?”
Noah yanked the harness away. “It’s a cat leash, douchebag.”
“A cat leash?” Colton laughed. “You’re kidding.”
“Beefcake needs regular exercise.”
The toilet flushed, and a moment later, the Russian wandered into the kitchen. “Where is kitty?”
“Hiding. He doesn’t like strangers.”
Colton suddenly froze. “Wh-What is that?”
Noah followed Colton’s terrified gaze. Beefcake had appeared out of nothingness, a furry, motionless apparition at the end of the hall. A dark silhouette with glowing eyes.
“That’s Beefcake,” Noah gulped. Morning truce aside, he was still sort of afraid.
“No,” Colton breathed. “That can’t be Beefcake. There’s no way that’s a cat.”
“That is no cat,” the Russian said, reverence in his tone. “That is a majestic animal. Like Siberian tiger.”
Noah inched along the wall, feeling with his fingers until he found the hallway light switch. Golden light flooded the space, and Colton let out a scream. Because Beefcake had somehow teleported ten feet forward.
“Pretty kitty,” the Russian cooed, dropping to one knee.
Noah held his breath as the Russian crouched low and held out his hand. Beefcake rolled at the Russian’s feet and began kneading the air with his paws.
“What is that noise?” Colton asked.
“He’s purring.”
“That’s a growl. He’s going to kill us. You actually put a leash on that thing?”
“He can’t be let out on his own anymore. He kills birds.”
“I’d be more worried about him luring a small child into the sewer.”
The Russian made an awww noise and dropped his hand to the exposed fur of Beefcake’s belly.
“Don’t!” Noah cried.
But it was too late. Beefcake sprang like a trap in the woods. He wrapped all four legs around the Russian’s arm and bit his hand. The Russian shrieked and stood, the cat hanging from his forearm.
“Bad kitty! Bad kitty!” The Russian waved his hand in the air, but that just made Beefcake dig his claws in deeper.
Noah smacked Colton’s arm. “Do something!”
“What the hell am I supposed to do?”
“I don’t know! You’re a cat owner! Get a treat or something!”
“Like what? A baby?”
The Russian bellowed like a man who’d been shot and dropped to one knee with a desperate plea. “Help me!”
Noah smacked Colton again. “Meat. Get meat.”
“You said Alexis is a vegetarian. There is no meat!”
“I am the meat,” the Russian cried.
Colton ran to the fridge and dug around. He returned with a piece of cheese. “Beefcake . . . here, kitty kitty.” Colton waved the cheese and approached slowly.
Beefcake sniffed the air, finally releasing his teeth from the Russian’s hand.
“That’s it. Good boy,” Noah crooned.
Colton held the cheese close to the