of a price to pay. He sacrificed his whole life for me; it would only be fair that I do the same for him.
As soon as he leaves my room and closes the door, I open my bedside drawer and take out my old phone, Jamie’s wallet, and the business card I stole from the front desk of Sophia’s dance studio.
I have a new phone now, one that is in no way connected to the girl Jamie knew. But despite the myriad reasons I should have dumped this one, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t let it go. Because tossing my phone away means tossing Jamie away. It means tossing his cell number. It means tossing our text message history.
And in all these years, I’ve yet to find the strength to delete that part of my soul.
Leaning forward, I reach back into the drawer and take out my old charger, and plugging it into the wall, I begin charging the device that hasn’t been turned on in years.
I need him to let me go. To release me. To move the hell on and free me from the love he promised we would create together.
He was right; we did it. But I had no clue back then what that would mean for me when I could no longer have him.
Jamie
Sometimes, A Guy’s Gotta Be Tactical
“What the hell was that?” As soon as the cameras are switched off, and the press leave my family’s estate, my mom squares up and smacks my arm. “Jamie! What the hell are you thinking?”
“I want to find her,” I grit out and rub my aching arm. One bad move on the mats, one overeager student, and a guy’s tendon tears right down the seam. “I need to find her.”
“It’s been years! You need to stop. And you!” She turns on Sophia as the ballerina walks by. “You gave him the green light to pull that stunt. What the hell happened to not giving the media anything personal?”
“He described a girl’s appearance.” She shrugs. “I said no names, no locations. And I talked him down from two million dollars. I did you all a favor.”
“You put a price on her head!” Mom booms. “You made her a target, and I don’t know if you know, but people have hurt others for the shoes off their feet, for the lunch money in their schoolbag. Five hundred thousand dollars is life-changing to most, and now you’ve just mobilized an army of thousands,” she turns on me, “tens of thousands, who will want that cash. Do you really think they’re gonna be gentle when they find her? You know that girl has a bad attitude and zero inclination to be dragged around. So when they find her, and she tells them to fuck themselves, what the hell do you think they’re gonna do to her to get her to cooperate?”
“Mom, I…” I didn’t think it that far through. “What do you care? She’s no one to you.”
“She’s the girl my son is in love with, that’s who she is to me!”
“I’m not in love with her,” I lie. “I just have a vested interest in her whereabouts. She has something that belongs to me.”
“And when some old hick with a sawed-off shotgun grabs her off the street all for the sake of this cash, you’re telling me you’ll be okay with that? You’re not in love with her, you don’t even care that she remains unharmed?” Mom slams her hands onto my chest and shoves me back. “You selfish jerk! That’s so…” She grunts her frustration. “That’s so Kincaid of you! If she doesn’t want you, then she doesn’t have to have you! I love you, baby. I really do, and I want you to be happy, but how dare you blast her on TV like that?”
“I didn’t show her face, Mom.” My voice cracks, and my heart swells with pain. “I didn’t say her name or anything.”
“So these hicks are gonna grab all women with dimples in their chins? Cam isn’t the only one at risk now, and that’s on you!”
“I’m doing my best, okay?” I swing away from her when my cell chirps on the counter. “I was in love with a girl, I miss her like I miss my fucking arm. And I need closure.” I stop when my daddy steps into my way. “I need closure! Don’t come at me about leaving her alone, because if you believed that, then you wouldn’t have spent fifteen years