exactly what you wanted? I would have been unable to protect you, and that dude still would have gotten his hands on you!”
“I’m sorry.”
“What if you got away and drove your stupid ass back to your brother, only to find he’s already moved, and McGrady was lying in wait?”
She sighs and lets her head drop lower. “I’m sorry.”
“What if someone killed me with one of those pool cues? It only takes one bad swing, a smack to the temple, and I’d be dead. Would you have called my mom and told her it was your fault?”
“I’m sorry,” she whispers. “I didn’t mean for it to get as big as it did.”
“I’m trying to help you!” I snap. “I’m trying to save your fucking life, Q. I’m trying to save Will’s too, but you’re fighting me at every turn.”
“I’m fighting you because you never ask my opinion. Because you think you get to dictate my every step.”
“I need to dictate,” I shoot back. “You weren’t getting shit done on your own. You were wearing McGrady’s dead wife’s clothes, riding in his car, and if you didn’t make it to his bed yet,” Please god, don’t tell me if you did, “then you were heading there fast. Dammit, Quinn. I’m trying to help you.”
Enraged, she surges to her feet and meets me toe-to-toe. “I’m not a vapid little girl who will do as she’s told, Jamie. I demand to be an active participant in my own life.”
“Sure. Tell that to McGrady when he has a gun pressed to your temple!”
“I was taking care of what needed to be taken care of! I was getting things done.”
“Yeah, and now you’re in a run-down hotel on the side of the freeway, with the guy you hate, and a sore hand. And I’m standing here with a raging headache, because I got hit too many fucking times this week. All because of you.” I spin away from her and restart my pacing. “I work and live in a fight gym, Q, but still, you’re the reason for more hits to my head in one week alone than I’ve ever received in my entire lifetime.” I spin back to her. “I’m just trying to help you! But you hold this bullshit grudge and bad attitude. Why? What did I ever do to piss you off?” I storm toward her. “My crime was loving you! For wanting you like I want air. I’ve done nothing wrong, Q! In all these years, I was good to you, I was loyal, I was honest. I loved you, and showed you how forever could be, if only you’d give it a chance.”
“Jamie, I—”
“And in payment, you’ve lied, stolen, had me beat to shit every chance you get, and the first time I see you after four of the longest years of my fucking life, you have some other asshole touching you. Kissing you. Kissing, Q!”
“I didn’t want him to kiss me!” she snaps back. “Did it look like I was enjoying his hands on me? Because I can tell you, it was gross.” She half turns away, and throws a hand up. “Fine, I lied to you. Get used to it. I don’t even know my truths anymore. I said mean things to you? Get used to it. I’m an unwanted child with low self-esteem and no family base except for the one you took me from. My default setting is to be mean. I stole from you. Get over it. I steal a watch and buy a meal. You just go back to your mommy and get a new watch.”
She turns back to me. “We are not the same person, Jamie Kincaid. We are not even in the same stratosphere. And that,” she pokes my aching chest, “is why you’re wasting your time on me. We are not suited. We have no future. You’re going through a phase where you wanna slum and know what it’s like to be with someone like me. And I was once a little girl who dreamed of marrying a prince. We’re each other’s fantasies, but we’re also each other’s fish, constantly swimming in the wrong direction.”
“I just want you to be safe,” I plead. “I want you, your body, your soul, your fucking heart, but I can’t have any of those if you’re in danger.”
“You can’t have any of those,” she inserts quietly. “Full stop. Because my body belongs to me, my heart belonged to you, and somewhere in the last four years,