Fucking betray me.” He grabs me by the wrist and yanks me off the bed.
I squeak as I stumble and nearly fall to my knees. His hold is harsh and unforgiving, with the intention of inflicting pain. “That’s not true…please…please…hear me out. I know you’re angry but…”
“Angry? I’m not angry, Lia. I’m enraged, disappointed, in pain right fucking here.” He taps the center of his chest. “All I’ve ever done is protect you, even when you could’ve been a huge disadvantage for me. I married you instead of using you as a pawn when I knew Sergei would have my head if he learned of your origins. Even when I was fully aware that Igor would plot my demise if he figured out I abandoned and humiliated his daughter, a Russian, one of my own, to marry an Italian. But what did you give me in return? You betrayed me, you took the training I gave you and fucking stabbed me in the back with it.”
“No…” I’m sobbing, salty tears the only thing I can taste. “No, I didn’t…”
“There’s only one punishment for betrayal, Lia.”
I suck in a sharp, shattered breath, shaking my head over and over. “Adrian, please, I know…I know I shouldn’t have talked to Luca, but he was the only friend I thought I had. I realize now that he was just using me. Back then…back then…I was too lonely, too scared, and I needed someone when you were being too harsh and distant.”
“So you chose a lover?”
“I told you he was never my lover! You think I could ever think about another man after meeting you?”
“You obviously did since you plotted my death. I’m curious, what did you plan to do after I was dead, start anew with him?”
I shake my head violently until my neck aches. The thought of Adrian dead brings fresh tears to my eyes.
“Fucking answer me, Lia! Did you sit down and plot the perfect way to kill me?”
“I would never plot to kill you, not even when you hurt me, not even when I thought I hated you.” I push at him with all my might. “I killed for you, you fucking idiot! I killed the man Luca brought that day, because the thought of him hurting you made me lose my damn mind! That’s why my depression hit hard afterward, that’s why I was like a zombie to the point I couldn’t pay attention to my own son! Killing a man, even if he was a criminal, hit me hard and I couldn’t survive it. But do you know what the worst part is? If it were to protect you, I’d repeat it in a heartbeat.”
Adrian doesn’t say anything, his chest rising and falling with alarming speed. We watch each other for several long seconds, my sniffles and his harsh breaths filling the air.
“You were the one who killed him?” His voice is low but firm.
“Yes, and I removed the bullet so you wouldn’t know it was me.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because of the exact way you’re acting right now. I knew you wouldn’t believe me, that you’d think I’d betrayed you. I never have, Adrian, I swear. I couldn’t even if I wanted to.”
“Why not?”
“Because I love you,” my voice cracks with the wrecking force of my sobs. “I’m in love with you, and that means I would rather hurt myself and jump off a cliff instead of causing you any pain.”
“Fuck, Lia.” He closes his eyes, sucking in a deep breath, then pushes me to a sitting position on the bed. “Tell me everything.”
“Does…does that mean you believe me?”
“Tell me everything,” he repeats. “Don’t leave any fucking detail out.”
I wrap the covers around me as I recite what happened in the last six years, starting with when Luca approached me about keeping an eye on Adrian, then on to our meetings in the shelter’s bathroom, and I even tell him about the crumbs of information I shared with Luca.
It’s useless to keep anything from Adrian at this point, not when he seems to be on the verge of throwing it all away.
“So you’ve been meeting him regularly,” he says with deceptive calm after I’m done. “Behind my back.”
“It meant nothing. I promise.”
“How could it mean nothing when you did it religiously?”
“I told you, I just needed a friend. After…after I killed that man, I pulled away from Luca. That day at the park, I told him we no longer had any sort of relationship and that we should