decide not to ponder over the nightmare. Instead, I hold on to last night’s memories.
A tender ache blossoms between my legs, but it’s the delicious type, the type that brings a smile to my lips. I remember each and every one of Adrian’s touches, the way he was considerate, passionate, but also slow, taking his time in owning my body.
While Adrian has the best aftercare, last night was the first time he’s been that affectionate during the act itself. As if he wanted to engrave himself beneath my skin and stay there. Not that he needs to. He seeped through my bloodstream like a potent potion long ago.
One thing’s for sure, something changed between us last night, because, in a way, I feel closer to him now more than ever. But it hurt to confess my feelings for the second time and get silence again.
I try convincing myself that I’m used to this, that I’m already aware of Adrian’s inability to have those feelings, that his care and attentiveness are enough.
But I guess I’m too greedy to settle for that.
I’m too greedy for the touch I felt yesterday, for how he held me, kissed me, and worshipped every inch of my body as if it were the first and last time he’d be with me.
The hangover headache is worth it.
Though I would’ve preferred he be by my side this morning. Did he perhaps go to train with Kolya and the others as usual? Or maybe Jeremy tried to barge into the bedroom and Adrian decided to have breakfast with him.
I take my time waking up, trying not to trigger my already blinding headache. When I straighten to get out of bed, I startle when I notice Adrian sitting on a chair by the door. He’s wearing a white shirt and black pants, his elbows on his knees and his hands forming a steeple at his chin.
I smile, but it vanishes as I stare into the soulless depths of his ashen eyes. They’re dark, cold, and absolutely savage, like that day he killed that man right in front of me.
The only difference is they’re now focused on me. He was probably watching me like that the whole time I was sleeping.
A strange apprehension grips me by the throat as I pull the covers to my chin, feeling like I need every barrier possible right now. “Adrian…? What’s wrong—”
“I’m going to ask you some questions and you’ll answer,” he cuts me off, his calm like a thousand needles pricking into my skin at the same time. “Lie and it’ll be the last you’ll utter.”
My heart thrums violently in my chest and my breathing shatters into fragmented pieces. Adrian has only been this cold to me when he thought I was cheating on him. But I thought he believed me for a few weeks now.
I thought we’d started a new page.
“Do you remember Mikhail’s last birthday party, Lia?”
Oh, God.
Oh, no.
Why is he asking about that? Did he figure it out? Of course, he did. Adrian isn’t an idiot. He wouldn’t have brought up that day if he didn’t have a purpose behind it.
My lips feel dry and chapped as I speak. “I…can explain.”
“I didn’t ask if you could explain, I asked if you remember Mikhail’s last birthday. Answer the fucking question.”
Moisture gathers in my eyes when I murmur, “I do.”
“You saved me that day because you magically happened to notice the mercenary.” He stands up and I shrink against the headboard. “See, I don’t believe in magic, Lia, but I chose to at that moment. I chose to believe in a coincidence, in a statistical fluke that you saw the assassin before Kirill, Damien, Kolya or I could.”
A tear escapes my lid. “Adrian…please…”
“Were you planning to kill me from the beginning, Lia? Is that what you and Luca agreed on?”
“No, no, I swear. I didn’t…didn’t…want to kill you…”
“But you planned it?”
“No…”
“I said not to lie to me.” He stops by my side, glaring down on me. “I said it would be your fucking last.”
I grab his wrist with both hands, and even though my skin is cold, I need to establish some sort of a connection between us. To hold on to the hope that we knew each other for years and that it should mean something. “He only asked me to keep an eye on you, saying he’d tell me about my parents’ deaths in return. But I stopped. I swear, I never wanted to hurt you.”
“You only meant to kill me.