say anything. I ran my hand down his back, a soothing gesture in the hopes he’d turn and hold me.
But he had just stood there, his eyes staring at a spot on the counter.
I felt disturbed. I didn’t know what was wrong, couldn’t imagine what he was thinking to look the way he did, distraught and distant, as though the past had taken hold of him and lured him into a dark hole.
Instead, I quietly said, “You want to help me get Penny ready for school, Conor?”
That roused him out of his thoughts.
He shadowed me as I dressed her and made her breakfast. When I took her out, she gave him a million kisses and hugged him tight. He shut his eyes, savouring that hug, looking like he wanted to hold her to him and never let go. My heart jumped watching their tender moment.
I drove her to school. She was upset Conor didn’t come with us, but I tried to let her know he needed some time shut away from the world.
“But doesn’t he want to be outside?” she asked.
“Of course, but it takes time.”
“Time,” she repeated slowly. “You hate time, Mommy.”
I smiled, surprised by that comment. “I don’t hate time.”
“Yes, you do,” she disagreed, staring at me like I was nuts. “You always said you hated it. I heard you. Every time you talked to Uncle Jem, you always said time was against you.”
“You’re such an eavesdropper.”
“I don’t try to be, and adult talk is boring.”
I made a show of rolling my eyes. “Okay, fine, I may have said that, but I don’t mean it anymore.”
“Because Daddy is back?”
“Yes.”
She nodded now, smiling to herself. “I love Daddy. He’s nice and big and warm.”
My heart melted. “He is the best.”
Clutching her backpack now as we pulled up to the school, she said, “I get to finally tell Kane he’s out and now he doesn’t have to beat anyone up for being mean to me.”
My lips parted in surprise. What in the fuck? “Kane…gets into trouble for you?”
She nodded proudly. “Kane loves me, Mom.”
I blinked at her. “Don’t give me a heart attack, Penny.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re too young for love, and your mother can only handle so much.”
She giggled. “Well, Kane and I love each other and that’s just the way it is. You don’t have to worry about it, Mommy.”
What in God’s name…
When did this girl learn about loving other boys? And why did it have to be Kane, goddammit?
Coming to a stop in front of the school entrance, my grip on the steering wheel tightened. “You didn’t tell me that before, you know. I didn’t know Kane was fighting kids for being mean to you. I hope you’re not encouraging him to.”
“No way, Mommy.”
“We go to school to learn and make friends and be…” Be what? Normal? I didn’t know what advice I was trying to give. Her teacher had called me several times this last year to tell me Penny’s behaviour was getting better. Last year had been super rocky. She had several meltdowns, and some were physical. Kids were mean, and they seemed to gravitate to her. It had all seemed to stop when she got put into class this year with Kane, but I had no idea he had been fighting her battles for her.
No wonder she was technically not in trouble as much these days.
And that she was so happy.
I’d been tempted to homeschool her a number of times when it was at its worst, but she pleaded that she liked going. It had been touch and go for a while there. I’d given it another shot this year, and lo and behold, she had shined.
Because of Kane, it turned out.
I worried my lip, wondering if this was going to escalate.
Penny stared at me, waiting for me to continue, and I was suddenly aware of the line-up of angry parents waiting for me to move. One ass beeped at me. I raised an apologetic hand, though my middle finger twitched.
“Be the best you, Penny,” I said as she opened the door to get out. “The best you!” I repeated. “Don’t hit anyone.”
“I won’t, Mom.”
“Smile.”
“I will.”
“Be nice.”
She didn’t answer to that as she closed the door behind her and walked to the front doors. The cool wind whipped all around her, making her lose her balance. God, she was such a tiny fragile girl. But her soul…Oh man, her soul was fierce.
As soon as she disappeared, I drove off, ignoring the nasty glares from the drivers