whisper.
Finally, he made his way back to the bed and took a seat, but this time, he leaned forward, elbows on his knees, watching me intently. It was insane to think that he was sitting here, allowing that distance, yet at the same time his presence dominated the room regardless where he was.
But that had always been Conor, hadn’t it?
He seamlessly owned his environment.
And even after all this time, I fell victim to his power. To his ability to cloud my senses and make me long for his touch.
“Why does this feel different?” he asked me, solemnly.
“Because it is,” I answered softly.
“It feels the same, too.”
“It does.”
His eyes trekked my body slowly, lingering around my hips before he swallowed hard. “I’ve thought of this moment a lot.”
I blinked slowly, whispering, “Me too.”
He cut his eyes back to mine, looking curious. “How often did you think about it?”
I blew out a breath, trying to smile but my lips weren’t working. “God, every day, Conor. Every minute, even.”
“And here we are.”
I nodded. “Here we are.”
His expression softened as he gazed at me. “Do you still feel it, Char, that energy burning between us?”
“Yes, I feel it.”
“What does it feel like to you?”
“Like… being touched by the sun.”
He nodded, smiling sadly. “Burning and pulsing, and it hurts, too. Like a knife in the gut, right?”
“A twisting knife.”
“Then you know my agony.”
I fought the emotion behind my eyes. “I do.”
He seemed pleased by that. Pleased and…hungry. With slightly parted lips, his gaze grew ravenous as he looked me over again, taking his time to explore me. It was apparent he wanted me. I could see the desire clouding his expression, and it made every inch of me warm.
“I longed for the moment I could feast my eyes on you,” he whispered, his voice thick. “I knew I’d come undone, but nothing prepared me still. I feel vulnerable with you, Charlotte, like I belong to you, like the distance meant nothing over the years. It’s…a disarming sort of surrender.”
His words wrenched me. I felt the ache in his voice. I saw the way his eyes dimmed, like saying this out loud was a confession he hadn’t even made to himself. Looking shrouded in thought, his gaze lost focus.
I wanted to go to him. I wanted to hold him to me, feel his head buried in my chest as I stroked his hair and whispered comforting words to him. But I couldn’t move. I watched him instead, my feet rooted to the ground, my soul tethered to his pain.
Rousing himself out of his reveries, he refocused his gaze to me, to every inch of my body. I felt the heat return to his face, felt the air shift between us.
“I want you,” he declared just then. “I want you really badly, Charlotte. I want you in a way words can’t convey. I’m done waiting.”
My eyelids drooped as his words seared me. “I’m done waiting, too.”
“So then take your clothes off, Charlotte, and let’s end our suffering,” he softly commanded.
I blinked, suddenly feeling skittish. Just because I dreamed about this moment, it didn’t make me feel all that prepared. I was trembling and afraid of being seen whole when I’d spent all these years only revealing myself to me and no one else. So, I stalled and pathetically questioned, “Why?”
His answer was immediate.
“You know why.” His voice lowered. “I need to see you, dove.”
It took me seconds to process his demand, seconds to calm the fears I’d built around this moment, and then I stopped overthinking. I had to, for our sake. He needed my strength, and I needed him to feel safe with me.
I drew a few breaths in before I felt my fingers tug at the hem of my shirt. I threw it over my head. The tips of my fingers shook as I let the shirt fall to the floor. My face heated as I pulled my pants down. His gaze was heavy; he was feasting on my bare flesh as I went, and I was feeling self-conscious.
It’d been so long.
I was practically a nun now.
He didn’t have to tell me to keep going. I saw the demand in him as I stood there in nothing but my bra and panties. Slowly, I unclasped my bra and let that too fall to the floor. His eyes lingered on my breasts, and he blinked that slow way again. I glimpsed down his body quickly, catching his cock thickening through his briefs. He liked what he