have two-parent households. I like to think he does that because he was also raised in a healthy environment, not that I believe for a second that a single-parent household has a negative impact. I’ve proven that it can be just as healthy, sometimes healthier than sharing a life with someone who doesn’t want to be there.
His mother walking away from her responsibilities is a blessing I count daily. Some people aren’t meant to stick around. I’m just glad she made that decision early on instead of after he was old enough to remember her.
“I know she isn’t,” I answer before I spend too much time getting lost in my own head. “And I don’t think she has any aspirations of bossing you around.”
“A hot stepmom? Sign me up.” He winks at me, and all I can do is shake my head.
“And that mess needs to stop. I don’t want her uncomfortable.”
“Did she say something?” He finally looks at me, frowning as he waits for my answer. “I’ve just been joking.”
“She hasn’t, and I don’t think it bothers her much, but maybe stop while you’re ahead?”
“Sure thing,” he agrees quickly. “Is she coming over tonight?”
I look down at my dark phone, knowing if I check it again, it’s not going to magically make a text appear. She hasn’t responded to my text from earlier, and I’m still wondering if I played too many cards too quickly.
“Not tonight, I don’t think. She’s part of those people that are circling the wagons right now just like Landon.”
Our conversation begins to shift, going from Sophia to Rick’s last couple of weeks in school. He’s a bright kid, never having really struggled with school until the last two years. He claims to have been distracted but doesn’t go into detail. He assures me he’s going to pass all his classes without needing summer school like last year. I make sure before he gets off the couch to go to bed that he knows how proud I am of him.
He shrugs off the praise like he always has, like he’s got secrets he believes will make me change my mind.
My heart is heavy and my bed is empty by the time I lock the house down and turn off all the lights. Only the soft thump of music coming from Rick’s room can be heard as I close myself in my own bedroom.
Waking up high on a cloud and going to bed filled with the unknown is draining. I check my phone one last time before lying down, deciding it’s best to send her a final text telling her goodnight.
That one goes unanswered too.
Chapter 28
Sophia
A quiet house has never bothered me. A quiet clubhouse is a whole other story.
Half the team, including my mom and dad are in Albuquerque dealing with the Drew situation, and the other half of the team have a job in South America. Tensions are always high when Cerberus is out of town on a mission, but the atmosphere for most of the day before they departed was rife with stress no one was openly speaking about.
Those of us left behind know there’s a lot going on, but no one seemed willing to talk about it. I learned as a child not to ask many questions, not that they would’ve been answered, and even as an adult, I’m left in the dark more often than not.
Izzy and I have taken up residence in the only room left empty, but even her soft breaths as she sleeps don’t calm my nerves.
The text messages Colton sent draw all of my attention even with my phone dark and on the bedside table. He misses me, and I miss him, but listening to Landon tell me to be careful with him and Rick hit me in the chest like a tanker truck.
I want to think I’m doing the right thing, but I haven’t stuck with anything in my life long-term except for school, and had I gotten bored, I don’t know that I would’ve graduated.
Opening my life up to Colton means also opening up to Rick. They’re a package deal, something I didn’t know in the beginning when I let myself fantasize about an older man. I’m not uneasy with him having a son. You can’t really expect someone to have no history, but it’s the future I’m worried about.
Can I love a man who loves someone so fiercely? Would my love even compare to that or his love for me?
I’m selfish. I know that.