say anything, just tells me all about the party and how Colton was standing by the back window, watching me by the pool for most of the night, that is until I got up and left then didn’t return to the party. Apparently, he ran out of there and caused a scene, but no one knew why. Not until now.
My heart breaks. Last night was incredible until it wasn’t. It was supposed to be my fairy tale night. It was my big ending and Colton and I were finally going to open up and make it work. All I had to do was get my ass from the pool area back to the party but apparently, that was too fucking hard.
Happiness was right at my fingertips. I could feel it creeping up on me and despite the shit that Colton and I had fought through, we were just about at the end of the road. It kills me that the night turned out so disastrous.
Fucking Jude. I can always count on him to ruin a good thing. He's had it out for me since the second I arrived in Bellevue Springs and he finally got what he wanted. Well, mostly. Colton barged in before he was able to finish and I’m grateful for that, but it still doesn’t take away those haunting memories.
What worries me is that Jude might want to come back and finish the job. He didn’t get the happy ending he was so desperately after and now he’s on the run. No one knows where he is and that terrifies me despite how brave I force myself to appear on the outside, and how many times Nic and the boys tell me they’ll handle it.
It’s become their motto over the past few weeks. ‘We’ll handle it.’
It makes me feel as though I'm some sort of incapable fool. They come to my rescue over and over again and each time, I’m left feeling as though I should have been stronger. I feel so weak, and right now, I’ve never felt so pathetic.
If only I didn’t accept those drinks …
If only I didn’t run to the pool …
If only I’d stayed with Colton …
Who knows what would have happened. I don’t doubt that last night would have been an incredible ending to an already amazing night. He would have spoiled me all night and then taken me up to his room until I was screaming his name, but come this morning when he found out that his father had been murdered, what would have happened then? Would he have still pushed me away? Would he have clung onto me like his only support system? Would he have let me hold him?
I’ll never forget the look in his eyes as he stood over his father’s dead body. He was devastated but strong. He was an heir claiming his rightful place and taking control. He was the fucking man.
Any innocence that he was desperately clinging onto was stripped away and darkness settled over him. He was hurting, and damn it, I don’t doubt that he still is. His warm hand slipped away from mine and whatever twisted emotions had been building between us over the past few weeks burned before my eyes.
Colton looked at me like he could see right through me, like I didn’t even exist, and fuck … it was worse than listening to him call me trash or the help. It gutted me. My fairy tale was well and truly over.
There’s no salvaging what we might or might not have had. Whatever it was, it’s gone now.
He took that dagger from his father’s chest and slammed it down on the table. The sound made me jump as I struggled to deal with the memories of my own father’s murder flying through my mind. Colton turned those steely hazel eyes on me and just like that, I was dismissed.
I was sent away as though I didn’t belong and it tore me to pieces. I don’t know what hurts more; Colton’s dismissal or Jude’s atrocious actions against me.
I guess what it comes down to right now is Charles Carrington. He’s what matters now. He might have been a conniving dick with twisted, unclear motives but for the most part, he was nice to me and my mom. He gave us a home when we would have been on the street. He made sure I had an education, a job, a chance for a good life. He gave us salvation when