what it is that I have to say.
“You asked for it, Nic,” I grumble, letting out a frustrated sigh but not once tearing my hard glare from his, hoping that somehow he’ll understand where the hell he went wrong.. “You think I’m whoring myself out to him like I’m that fucking low. You think I’m getting extra benefits by fucking the boss to get myself ahead in life but what’s more, you think he’s taking something from you, something that is no longer yours to take because when it comes to Dominic Garcia, everything is about him. Who gives a shit about what I think? Who cares that I actually have a connection with the guy? Who fucking cares that every time I’m around him my heart beats a million miles per minute? No. None of that fucking matters because Nic has his fucking panties in a twist.”
Sebastian takes a big step back and sucks in a sharp breath as Eli grumbles under his breath. “Ah, fuck. She went there.”
Kairo just continues to stare.
“Yeah, I fucking went there,” I snap, “because right now I’m being punished for choosing between the four guys who should have my back and the guy who I might have something real with.”
“REAL?” Nic demands, stepping closer. “That’s not fucking real. What we had was real. The guy is a fucking loser. He treats you like shit. He’ll never love you. You’re a convenient fuck to him. Some poor bitch who’ll keep her mouth shut.”
My hand slaps hard across his face. “Jealousy isn’t pretty on you Nic. Fucking pull your shit together. Stop hating on me for wanting to move on. You fucked us up. You slept with another woman. What we had wasn’t real. You were the one fucking the poor girl for convenience. Tell me, Nic. Was it nice not having to go out to find some random slut to fuck each night knowing you could just fuck me instead?”
“Don’t you try to tell me what the fuck I was feeling.”
“Then stop doing the same bullshit to me. I have something real with Colton. I don’t even understand it yet but when I tell the four guys who are supposed to love and support me through any decisions I make, whether they think I’m fucking up or not, they should have my back just as I would have theirs.”
Sebastian breaks. “Come on, O. You know I got your back. I just … we don’t trust him. He treated you like shit from the second you walked in here. He will never have your back like the way we have it.”
“Oh, really?” I question. “That’s what you really think?”
“That’s what we fucking know,” Nic says.
I shake my head, stepping right up to Nic and putting myself in front of him. “You don’t know shit, Nic. You haven’t been here. You don’t walk in my shoes. Your possessive asshole act is starting to get old.”
Eli subtly steps in between us and stands as awkwardly as possible, knowing if Nic wants to get to me, his ass will get laid out.
“This place has changed you,” Nic says.
“No,” I tell him. “This place is just offering me more than what Breakers Flats can. This place isn’t what’s holding me back.”
Kairo's voice comes from the back of the group, raw and filled with emotion. “So, that’s what you think? That we’re holding you back?”
I let out a sigh and meet his eyes. He looks broken and it kills me. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look at me that way in all the years that I’ve known him. I walk away from Nic until I’m placed right in front of Kai. I take his hands and look up into his eyes. “Never, Kai. You boys mean the absolute world to me and at the moment, I’m trying to work out how to make room for all these new people coming into my life. I don’t even understand what this thing is between me and Colton, but to me, it feels real, and I guess … I guess I just want to know that if I decide to do something about it that you guys aren’t going to try to kill him.”
Kai shakes his head. “That’s not my call to make.”
I turn back to the guys and avoid Nic’s stare. “I don’t want to lose you. I can’t. For so long, it’s been just us. No friends …”
Nic lets out a sigh and something breaks within him. “Just family,”