good feel of what they have on offer, you know, as they’re saying ‘I’m sorry for your loss.’
He breaks free and starts making his way down the aisle but not before his eyes come to mine.
They’re dark and intense, certainly not the protective hazel ones that I’ve come to know. A silent message passes between us and I see his pain. He wants me there by his side but there’s no way in hell he’s about to come out and ask for it and with this crowd, I’d be a fool to go for it. There’s regret in his eyes and I wonder if it’s from the hell he put me through last night but this is his father’s funeral and it’d be selfish of me to assume his pain is for me.
I need to pull my shit together.
I tear my gaze away and Colton continues to the front of the aisle. He walks right up to the open casket and peers in. Every person in the church watches him. Even his sisters tear their attention away from their phones for a brief second to look up at their older brother.
The priest approaches Colton and they shake hands as I focus on keeping my ass firmly in my seat. Do not go up there, Ocean. You’re only going to make a fool of yourself.
I watch as they discuss whatever the hell needs discussing while unable to tear my eyes away from him. “Jesus,” Milo grumbles beside me. “Don’t make it so obvious that you’re into him.”
I turn my glare on Milo. “First of all, I don’t think you’re supposed to use that word in a church unless you’re singing about how much you love him.”
“Honey, the fact that I haven’t spontaneously combusted and burned to a crisp yet is already a miracle, don’t push your luck, but go on.”
I roll my eyes, ignoring his comments. “Secondly, I’m not into Colton. He’s an ass. After the bullshit he’s been putting me through, it’d be a damn miracle if he ever got close to me again. I’m just curious. I've never been to a big funeral like this.”
“For the record, if I can't say ‘Jesus’ in a church then you can’t say ‘damn,’” he tells me before dropping his arm from over my shoulder and slouching into the pew as though he’s already bored. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re a shitty liar? I could see your little lovesick puppy dog eyes from a mile away. You’re more than just into him.”
I nudge my elbow into his ribs. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Well, well, here’s trouble,” a voice says, hovering in the aisle beside the pew.
I look up to find Charlie and Spencer standing beside us. Charlie has a cheesy as fuck grin on his face—which is so not appropriate for a funeral— as he leans against the backrest of the pew while Spencer is staring off into the guests on the other side of the church. His face scrunches in distaste and I follow his line of sight to find his cousin, Jacqueline Vanderbilt, sobbing into a tissue and making a scene.
“What a fucking joke,” Spencer scoffs. “I’m going to be hearing about this shit for years. Anyone would think they were star-crossed lovers by the way she’s carrying on.”
“Maybe they were,” I tell him. “I’m pretty sure they were supposed to get hitched and honeymoon in the Maldives for the next few weeks. Poor girl, she’s probably mourning her natural suntan. Though, that’s considering his ‘business trip’ was actually for her. Who knows if he was fucking around with other girls.”
Spencer scoffs in agreement before looking back at us. “I’ll catch you guys later,” he says with a grumble.
Charlie and Milo nod while I give him a tight smile and then watch him walk away. I look back up at Charlie to find him also looking out at the guests, only unlike Spencer, he clearly can’t find who he’s looking for. “What’s up?” I ask as his brows begin to pinch.
“Have you guys seen Jude? I don’t think the fucker is here.”
“Nah, man,” Milo says as I go quiet. “Haven’t seen him in weeks.
Charlie shakes his head, disappointment wafting off him in waves. “So fucking low,” he grumbles. “You’d think he’d show up today of all days. Colton has gone out of his way to keep the guy out of trouble and the fucker can’t even show up when his friend needs him the most.”
I feel Milo’s