name was one more boundary I could put in place as a reminder I was the one in control. At first it was a formality; now it was out of spite.
“Did you love her?”
I bit my bottom lip as silence filled the car. Too far, Chloe, you idiot.
“I don’t know. It’s not important,” he said quietly, like he wouldn’t mind at all if I didn’t hear his answer. “What’s important is that she and Francis are together. And that’s never going to change.”
“She wouldn’t leave him for you?” I pressed, wanting desperately to form a clear picture. Or maybe I was just being nosy.
In one sudden movement, William slammed my laptop shut. “I think I’m done. I’ll drop you home.”
“There’s still time to look. You’ve hardly even seen the worst of it—”
“Just drop it, Chloe,” he said. “I’ll look again another day.”
Now I was just pissed off. “You didn’t want me to find out, did you?”
“It’d be easier if you hadn’t.”
“What, because you could use me too?” I asked. When it was time to take down Lola—number one on the list—would he stop me?
How could he love her?
“No, because you wouldn’t understand. Especially someone like you,” he said. Now he was angry too. His brows were furrowed, his lips pulled into a scowl.
“Someone like me?” I questioned, grabbing my laptop from his hands and shoving it back into my schoolbag.
“Yes. You’re crazy, you know that? Doing all of this—nobody sane would make that decision. Nobody would give up their life to get revenge for someone else.”
“So that’s what you think,” I muttered. It had been a long time since I’d been this angry. “I thought you understood.”
“I understand your motivation. I understand why,” he said, clutching the steering wheel even though the car wasn’t running. “But I don’t understand why you’re choosing it over a normal high school life. You could have had it easy, coasting through and acing all your classes. But instead you’re playing another bitchy popular girl and throwing your life away to get revenge for her.”
My hands were shaking now, and my eyes burned with unshed angry tears. He’d obviously done more research on me than I’d thought. I wasn’t familiar with arguing. In my family, conflict was resolved with passive aggression and emotional manipulation. It was never confrontational. “Are you saying Monica isn’t worth it?”
“No, I’m not saying that. This isn’t about her, Chloe. It’s about you. I’m not sure you even know who you are without her.”
“I know exactly who I am,” I said harshly, my voice low. But he’d hit the mark, as if he could read my damn mind. “And it’s not someone who’d sleep around with someone as horrible as Lola.”
Without saying another word, he turned on the ignition and the radio drowned out whatever might’ve remained of our conversation.
The ride home was confusing. My cheeks were pink from the car’s heating, or maybe just from the rage circling my mind. I was so angry and bewildered with this revelation. I could use it, I reminded myself. In fact, using it could be a huge advantage. Francis and William were close friends, and I was sure that Francis couldn’t know about William and Lola. He wouldn’t let him live if he did.
“Look,” William said coolly when we arrived outside my house. He pulled over and shut off the engine again. “I’m sorry for what I said before, okay? You just confuse the hell out of me.”
I took a deep breath. His apology helped a little, but the anger still simmered in my chest. Was I sorry? Not at all. He should have told me about Lola from the start.
“Will your feelings for Lola impact my plans?” I asked bluntly.
“Your revenge?” he clarified.
I nodded.
He shook his head.
“So, you have no feelings for her anymore?”
He hesitated, sun-bronzed strands of hair falling across his forehead. “Nothing that will get in the way.”
“Do you promise?” I asked. I might be a liar, but I sensed he had a little more honor than that, at least from what I’d observed junior year, and from the snippets Monica had told me. I was such a hypocrite, deceiving everyone but expecting their honesty.
“Yes,” he said in one short breath. He looked conflicted, maybe even a little remorseful, but his tone was clear. Enough for me to believe him, at least. “I’m all in.”
In for destroying his own friends.
“Okay,” I said. I knew there had to be much more to Lola and William’s relationship, but for now I wouldn’t