you.”
I hesitated. I wasn’t expecting that conclusion from our encounter in the hall, but I guess to someone grappling for drama it’d be a viable interpretation.
“So you’re breaking some hearts, Chloe?” Maddy asked, winking at me from Sophie’s side.
“He’s just my friend,” I said, finally finding the ability to mirror their confidence.
“Should I be jealous?” William asked. I hadn’t noticed our conversation attracting the rest of the table’s attention.
“No,” I said, placing a reassuring hand on his arm. In my head, the action had seemed appropriate, but with his forearm beneath my fingertips making my heart tremor I wasn’t quite sure.
“He’s a loser,” Sophie said snarkily. “Right, Chloe? He seems obsessed with you.”
I cast a glance between the Level Ones as they watched me expectantly. Of course this would just be more juicy gossip to add to their lunchtime entertainment.
“Kinda,” I said, thinking quickly. “He won’t leave me alone.”
“Oh, seriously?” Maddy asked, leaning in closer.
“Yeah.” I racked my brain for something to say. Something to feed their sudden interest in me. “He follows me everywhere. Sometimes he leaves notes in my locker. I tried telling him to lay off, but he’s got no idea he’s way below my standards. You’re right, he is a loser.”
I shot a side glance at William for good measure. Outside, I was playing the bitchy Level One girl perfectly. Inside, I felt a heavy ball growing in my stomach, making my muscles so tight I thought they’d burst in guilt. I wondered what Monica would think of me sitting here and saying that.
I wondered if she’d be proud.
Eight
Monica,
I was sorting through my nail polish last night when I found the shimmery gold enamel, the one speckled with flakes of glitter. Do you remember that night like I do?
It was last Christmas, and of course my dad had spoiled the whole holiday. You invited me and Mom to your house that night, and we exchanged those little gifts. You gave me the nail polish, and I got you the key ring, remember? I hope you didn’t lose it.
When we painted our nails that night, I remember closing my eyes and praying we’d always have each other.
That’s why I’m doing this, Mon. Because Level One ruined your life. They took you away from me, so I need to take something from them.
Love, Chloe
I MET WILLIAM after school, drawing the same attention we had these last couple of afternoons. I wondered how long we could keep up the illusion of our relationship by just hanging out together. At the moment, it seemed to satisfy Arlington’s gossipmongers, but I could hear the questioning whispers. Couples here generally moved fast, and the closest we’d come to PDA was a hand on the back.
William held the door open for me to get into the car and then turned down the volume to the radio. “Is everything okay?”
I nodded immediately, not sure how to pinpoint what precisely was bringing my mood down. Maybe my mother’s pleas to my father on the phone, or more likely the trash talk I’d made up about Jack at the table. The memories of Monica didn’t help; I wished she’d come back to Arlington more and more with every slash of the windshield wipers.
“How well did you know Monica?” I asked, my voice hesitant in the space between us.
William paused. “I think I knew her relatively well. For the short time I actually did.”
I was quiet, hoping he’d elaborate. It was a delicate subject for so many reasons. Pushing it too much could break the fragile bond William and I had developed.
“She was too good to be falling over Lola’s feet,” he said after a few long moments, carefully navigating after-school traffic. “I tried to look out for her when I could . . . but she liked trouble.”
She sure did.
“She can be impulsive,” I said in agreement. “Reckless.”
He gave me a funny look as I sat there waiting for him to say more. But all that stretched on was silence as bad weather forecasts murmured from the radio speakers.
“The lookout?” William offered as a destination. Obviously neither of our houses was an option, not with prying parents, and especially not with the information I carried on my laptop.
“Sure.”
William navigated toward the foothills, and I watched the rain dampen the busy streets out the window. I played with the hem of my skirt, wondering what Monica would be doing right now, wondering what she’d think of my plan if I was crazy enough to divulge it to