of,” is his response. I’m not sure how to take it. I’m glad he’s not upset that I brought it up or even had the thought. But shouldn’t he be?
My cheeks heat. “I’m not sure I can consider him an ex, but you’re right. Anyway, I was just thinking about how I never really dated. This is sort of it for me, which is embarrassing. I don’t have much of a social life either.”
“Do you regret that at all?”
“No.” I rub my lips together. “It’d make things like this easier. Knowing what to expect. Then I wouldn’t feel like I’m about to say or do the wrong thing. There’s a lot I could mess up here, and I’m just worried you’ll…”
That causes his brows to furrow. “You’re worried that I’ll what?”
I look at the table. “You’re older than me with more life experience. You have a great job and a house and … I don’t know. I guess I’m just thinking about all the stuff I’ve done and what I’ll have to do and wonder if that’ll be enough.”
“You’re too hard on yourself.”
Maybe. Maybe not. “Why me? You said it’s because you admire me, but I’m nothing special. In fact, I’m a mess like most of the human population.”
He studies me for a long moment, making it hard to keep eye contact. I want to break it and look anywhere but those brown eyes, but I don’t. I can’t. “You have a story to tell. One I want to hear. I just want to get to know you, Piper. It doesn’t have to be anything more than that and the reasons I mentioned before.”
It just seems like it’s not enough. Why does anybody choose to pursue other people? Attraction? Common interests? Carter and I both love history and teaching it. We have a past. Similar friends. Mutual acquaintances. I think about Danny and try remembering all the reasons I clung on to him.
He was kind. He made me smile. He got me to laugh when I wanted to cry or hit something if I was in a bad mood. He always knew how to fix it and make me feel better. I liked Danny because he was a good person.
So, maybe it wasn’t that complicated.
I’m not a bad person.
I deserve this.
We’re laughing so hard my sides hurt, but it doesn’t stop us from cracking more jokes at my brother’s expense. I’m pretty sure Jesse would be pissed if he knew Carter was divulging some of his past failures with women. I, however, am living for it.
“…then she dumped her drink on him and walked out with all her friends.” His eyes are as watery as mine. I swipe away a tear and reach for my water, taking a sip to calm down.
“I can’t believe he had that many fails with women,” I muse, shaking my head. “He always used to brag about what a lady’s man he was, you know? I’m glad some women were smart enough not to fall for it.”
Carter’s shoulders shake with laughter. “I used to be amazed at how hard he tried. Do you know about the day he met his wife?” I shake my head, enthralled by where this could go. He sets his own glass down. “We were at a pool hall catching up. It’d been a while since we’d hung out, so he reached out asking if I wanted to play a game and grab some drinks. Ren worked as a bartender and I swear, Piper, as soon as your brother saw her that was it. His eyes stayed on her all night even when he pretended that he wasn’t interested. I kept telling him to go talk to her, gave him money to buy us more beer, anything to get the guy to say something instead of staring like a creep.
“He went up after cursing me out and waited to get her attention. I wondered if he was going to give her some cheesy ass pickup line or do something else. You know what he did? He passed her the money, ordered another pitcher of beer, and brought the drinks back to where we were sitting. That’s it.”
I blink. How … anticlimactic. “Are you saying he did absolutely nothing?”
He nods once. “Not a damn thing. That’s when I knew he was a goner. He loved women.” I make a face at that. “Sorry, but it’s true. When he didn’t make a move to try getting her number, I knew there was more