have, even when he couldn’t love me the same. Not before Ainsley’s mother, and not after her. Danny and I were never meant to be more than friends, and I…
Throat closing, I struggle to take a breath. My chest hurts when I think about the night he died. I’ve blamed myself every single day for causing his death. I may not have been behind the wheel of the car that lost control and hit his, but I was the reason he was even out in the weather he shouldn’t have tried battling.
“Danny, wait—”
“We shouldn’t have done that, Piper.” The anguish on his face makes the hope on mine disappear. Any thought of us finally becoming something more than best friends extinguishes like a fire being doused by ice water.
“Danny…” My voice breaks, head shaking as he slides on his boots and grabs his jacket from the hook by my apartment door. “I thought…” What did I think? That we’d sleep together, and everything would change? We both made the choice.
But I realize his was out of pain. Not love. Not like my choice was driven by. I wanted every part of him—his heart, his thoughts, his body. And he wanted something different. An escape. An escape he regrets.
“I’m sorry,” he murmurs, zipping his coat and grabbing his keys from the end table.
I look outside at the blizzard they warned us about. “You can’t drive right now. You could get into an accident. Just stay here.”
“I can’t!” he yells, turning to me with red-rimmed eyes and an unreadable expression. His lips are drawn downward, and his brows are furrowed in like what we’ve done is burying him alive slowly.
And it kills me.
“Please. I’ll stay on the couch,” I beg, anything to keep him here. The visibility is poor through the window and I doubt it’s any better on the roads. “Think about Ainsley.”
The pain in his brown eyes intensifies. “I am, Piper. That’s why I have to go. My little girl needs me.”
I want to scream at him. Beg. Plead. What about me? What about how much I need him? But he doesn’t give me the chance before he opens the door, spares me one last look, before shaking his head and walking away.
I squeeze Ainsley closer to my body, letting us cry together until we’re drained of tears. Nothing about Danny’s loss will ever be easier. She’ll always be without a father, and I’ll always be without my best friend.
“I’m sorry, Ainsley. I’m so…” I suck in a breath and try to calm my breathing. What she needs from me is strength. If I can’t be strong for her, I’ve failed. I fail myself, and I fail Danny.
But there’s something in the back of my mind that eggs on the possibility that he would have changed his will if he’d had the chance to after the night we spent together. Would he have chosen somebody else? I couldn’t think of anybody else he would have asked to care for her, and I wonder if I won by default or he truly trusted me with his little girl.
I’ll never know.
“I love you. He loved you too.”
She nods in the crook of my neck, her tears absorbing into my skin. I keep combing my fingers through her hair until the noise subsides and she slowly, slowly falls back asleep.
I don’t bother waking her up or worrying about school. Something tells me we both need a day off without responsibility. No school. No work. Just us.
I’m only half aware of the feeling somebody is staring at me when I crack my eyes open in the uncomfortable position I’m in on Ainsley’s bed. She’s still sleeping soundly in front of me, leaving my body twisted in ways it doesn’t normally bend.
Easton’s brows draw up as he glances at his phone, probably double checking the time. He glances back up at me. “It’s after eight.”
I nod, putting my finger to my lips and finagling my way out from behind Ainsley without waking her. Her face is finally content, her thumb in her mouth. She doesn’t suck on it often, just when she’s stressed. Knowing her mind isn’t at ease even in sleep has me frowning as I meet Easton outside her room.
“You’ve been crying,” he states coolly.
I swallow. “I’m fine.”
“You’re not at school.”
My shoulders lift slightly. “Taking a day off with Ainsley. We need it.”
His spine straightens. “Is she sick again?”
I quickly shake my head. “No, nothing like that. It’s, uh…” My eyes go back